43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Headline: Partners In Crime Leading Sadly Mirrored Love Lives….. March 7, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:09 am
Tags: , , , ,

So I used to have a roommate when I was in my 20s.  She was fun and flirty and bitchy and could drink like a fish.  Just like me! 🙂 We used to work together as well.  At a very well known resort in town and we thought we were pretty frickin’ awesome.  Because we were.  We were young, and beautiful and tall and smart and skinny and didn’t take shit from anyone.  We flirted our asses off.  Kissed everyone in sight (co-workers, hotel guests, random strangers in bars ……… you get the idea) and never ever worried about not having a date.  It just never crossed our minds.  We were young and having fun and not worrying about tomorrow.  Guess what?  It’s tomorrow.  I went out with my friend the other night and although I’ve got her by 5 years, she’s still single as well.  She had plenty of boys that wanted to date and marry her.  I had plenty of boys that wanted to date me.  I never really kept anyone around long enough to get to the marriage part, but I guess if I would have let my guard down/lowered my standards/been desperate enough, I could have been married.  Several times over.  And divorced.  Several times over.

Anyway, she does the internet dating thing as well and what do you know?  Has had iffy luck too!  Go figure.  Hell, we’ve even overlapped guys online.  Just like old times.  Anyway, about 6 months ago she met an amazing guy.  No, he wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for her.  And he traveled for business a lot.  And refused to do the long distance thing, so broke up with her.  And broke her heart.  Guess what?  He doesn’t want to ‘date’ her, but he wants to be friends with her and insists on calling her every time he’s in town.  And she gives in and sees him.  And gets sad all over again as she knows she loves him and he loves her, but he refuses to either date her, or let her go completely.

My friend and I never ever took shit from guys.  We called the shots.  We got what we wanted.  We had fun.  They had fun.  It was a blast.  I do believe the karmic dating gods are playing a cruel joke on us both by sending us the same issues.  Guys that don’t want to date us, yet don’t want to lose us from their lives.  Guys who readily admit that it’s not fair to us that they contact us and tell us they miss us, yet still do it.   Guys that are perfect for us, and we are perfect for them, however they don’t see it.   I asked her the quintessential question the other night.  To which neither of us could answer :  What the hell happened to us?


4 Responses to “Headline: Partners In Crime Leading Sadly Mirrored Love Lives…..”

  1. Emilie Says:

    Hey goose! I think I might have the answer to that question (then again, I could be totally wrong) and that is; there is nothing wrong with you nor your friend…. The problem is the guys that say those things have serious issues to what they really want in a relationship or in life for that matter and sadly, it sometimes gets worse with time!!

    • You’re right Em; it’s the whole, ‘have your cake and eat it too’ syndrome. They don’t know what they want, however they would like to keep us around to fall back on ’cause we make them feel good about themselves. yey us.

  2. tat2dmomma Says:

    I agree with Emilie…however, I think a LOT has to do with the type of people we gravitate towards. Negative energy breeds negative energy. Also, the decline of self esteem happens over time, as was the case with me. Once I realized it was about what I thought about myself more, and less about who they were or who I thought they were, things became more clear to me. At least…that’s just the way it is happening for me. Not to say I don’t still have “issues” but I’m tryin… 🙂 Best of luck!!!

    • Thanks Tat. I don’t think I gravitate towards negative energy nor do I think I have it (aside from on here sometimes) 😉 I’m a ‘fixer’ and a ‘pleaser’ and like to make people feel good about themselves. I have a hard time distancing myself or even recognizing when what i’m doing is detrimental to me though and I totally hear you on the self esteem issue. Time to take that back! 🙂

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