43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Let’s See Now……. March 22, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:30 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I got nothin’ people.  Absolutely nothin’.  I met muscle head for breakfast last Saturday and almost dozed off into my egg whites.  I guess the world of accounting and his fitness regimen just wasn’t all that interesting.  To me.  Until, of course, he asked me how tall I was.  Uhm, that would be 5’10” just like my profile says.  Why, how tall are you, I ask.  He claims 5’11” and I must have made one of my patented ‘bullshit’ faces as he then suggested we stand back to back and have the waitress check.  Really?  He was a nice guy so I threw him a bone and slouched a little.  I was still taller.  Whoops.  Of course since I wasn’t attracted to him in the least, he loves me.  And messages me every day.  *sigh*  At least he doesn’t call. 😉

——

As for the other winners on Plenty of Frustration (and by winners of course, I mean losers), my apparent whorishness is still loud and clear.  Too bad I’m not a whore.  Or look like one.  Or act like one.  Well, aside from kissing and food, that is.  Anyway, I get my requisite number of lewd messages every day but just to throw me off, I get a normal sounding message every now and again.  Like the one I got yesterday.  It was actually an amazingly nice message.  Long, detailed, properly spelled and punctuated and pretty much commented on everything that I wrote in my profile.  I really like it.  He sounds very nice.  And smart.  And sweet.  So I looked at his profile and noticed a few er, challenges.  1st of all, his screen name is uber similar to ‘IrishGuy’, whom we all know I just barely got rid of after almost a year of stalker-like behaviour.   I could probably get past that since it’s obviously not ‘the’ Irish Guy as this one is gainfully employed, responsible, does not have his parents support him, live in a studio apartment with 2 cats and most likely doesn’t bring a homemade mix ‘makeout’ cd over as a hostess gift when invited to dinner.  Or maybe he does.  I probably will never find out as although I wasn’t attracted to this guy’s looks, I figured I might give him a shot as he sounded so nice.  Until……….. I saw a picture with him holding up 3 dead Pheasants while wearing full hunting gear (him, not the deceased game birds).  I can’t do hunters……….figuratively or literally.

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8 Responses to “Let’s See Now…….”

  1. stevesw Says:

    And the poor guy probably never hunted before, but shot the birds after reading your profile (and possibly your disillusionment for homemade mix ‘makeout’ cds) and just knew you would be able to cook them up for a Friday night to Monday morning living room picnic. 😉

  2. 1smiles Says:

    Hysterical! Why do they either have profile pictures with their car, their motorcycle or road kill of the day.. fish or in your case pheasants? You never see a girl holding up her favorite casserole recipe as her profile picture. Or the just baked cake. Or the afghan she knitted for her cat. Maybe we should start a new profile picture fad.

  3. TikkTok Says:

    Awww, hunting is a lost art! When the modern world collapses, at least you’ll have an “in” to survival because of your hunter dude. I think he’s a keeper! 😀

  4. xoxo bb Says:

    My life!!! Just when they seem normal there has to be one thing where you’re like “oh no, come on, really???”

    • Hahaha xoxo bb! I know, right? Convince myself I can get past some of the other ‘issues’ and then he just shoots himself in the foot (pun totally intended) with that stupid picture!


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