43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

April Fools March 31, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 10:09 pm
Tags: , , , ,

We all know that I now keep my profession top secret.  Nope, not because I hold a high level position within the government.  Or because I am the CEO of a multibillion dollar company (damn it).  It’s because I certainly don’t want one of my clients to accidentally land on my blog and discover what a true whore loser I am.

I have a big job tomorrow.  A wedding.  A day that the couple will remember forever and I don’t want it to be because the food sucked.  The ‘lucky’ couple are adorable.  Kinda crunchy-granola-ish and they chose me to trust with their big day.  I’m nervous as hell.  I always am before my big events.  What if everyone throws their forks down in disgust and demands to know ‘what is this?’  that they’re eating?  I would die.  Right there on the spot.  Sure, it hasn’t happened in the 12 years that I’ve had my company, but I sure don’t want tomorrow to be the first.

So back to the bride and groom.  They’re young and perky and full of hopes and dreams.  They have plans to stay together forever and to help make the world a better place.  They march to the beat of their own drum and don’t care what anyone else thinks.  They’re bright and happy and totally deluded.  😉

This couple is made for each other.  I wish them every happiness.  I hope they have an amazing day.  I hope they and their guests like my food.  I hope everyone enjoys a day to remember.  What I really hope for though, is that I don’t bust out with a big ole’ ‘bullshit’ when they come to the better or worse part of the vows.  Or worse yet, start crying.  We all know they wouldn’t be tears of joy for the newly married couple that I’d be shedding, but instead ones of jealousy.  Damn these people for being able to find their ‘one’ and I can’t……. bitter much?

Okay, really what I hope for is that my salmon turn out perfect and that I don’t overcook my herb crusted fillet 🙂


5 Responses to “April Fools”

  1. Don’t worry I am sure your food will turn out perfectly and you’ll get through the happy event flawlessly. Your concerns are legitimate, but you got this! 😉

  2. Emilie Says:

    Dont worry about it!! I am sure everything will be just fine!

  3. everevie Says:

    I think your food will be a great big hit…and that lots of other sweet, optimistic (deluded) couples will want you to cater THEIR weddings too. And then maybe…even their baby showers. Umm….yay you! 🙂

  4. Matthew Says:


    If there’s one thing I (and everyone else) know is that one area where you have written most confidently is when it is about food; the preparing of it, not eating it.

    But I get the pressure and I say use it. I get nervous each time I’m asked to shoot a wedding video because if I mess it up, especially during the ceremony, there isn’t a chance for a “do over” and the couple has to live with that then every day they decide to watch the video.

  5. lafinwitu65 Says:

    I know several people that excel in their professional careers but are not doing so well in their personal life. (myself included)


    A tall blonde who can cook!!

    I think my heart just skipped beat :o)

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