43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Love Is In The Air April 23, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:10 pm

Oh hell no, not for me!  What?  Are you new here?  It seems like everyone I know in town is presently in love.  Yey.  Am I happy for them?  The part that I wish was more prevalent right now wants to say hell yes I am.  Good for you for finding love and  being all sickenlingly happy.  You know what part of me is winning out though?  The one that wants to stab them all in the eye with a fork and shove one of those adorable teddy bears that hold a heart inscribed with ‘I wuv you’ right down their throats.  Okay, not really, but you get the idea.

What the hell people?  I have ‘met’ exactly zero decent guys since I’ve been back on Match (all of approximately 10 days).  I’ll go that one further by saying that I’ve been contacted by zero decent guys since then.  Sure, they may be decent in truth, but just not decent for me and it’s all about me, right?  I’ve been watching that questionable VH1 show ‘Tough Love’ and the last episode was regarding online dating profiles.  Ahhh, finally something I can use from those train wrecks.  Know what I learned?  That guys probably don’t even read my profile (duh), they may see my picture and get a little happy but then they’ll read that I’m 44 and never been married and automatically click off.  Why?  ‘Cause they all assume I have either ‘issues’ or am high maintenance or that basically there’s just something wrong with me.

How else could a fairly decent looking woman go 44 years and never get married?  They won’t consider that I’ve been working on my career.  That I’ve been dating ‘the wrong guys’.  That although I haven’t been married, I’ve been in long-term relationships.  They won’t consider that maybe it’s a combination of bad guys, bad decisions, bad timing and a lot of wasted effort?  Nope, they just figure I’m not worth the effort.  Awesome.  I could always go the route of 80% of the online dating population and just lie, saying that I’m divorced so that I’ll at least come up in more searches, but let’s face it.  I’m in the 20% minority that is honest in my profile.  I don’t lie about my age, my marital status, my height, my weight, my pictures or even the fact that I can (and do) trip over absolutely nothing all the time.  That’s just me.  Why lie?  Oh wait…………….

What has brought on this wonderful bout of cynicism and bitterness you ask?  Always being around couples!  Happy ones, sad one, old ones, young ones, new ones, ones that have been together forever.  Ugh.  Enough already!  Do you think there is such a thing as mail order groom?  Okay not a groom as I don’t need to be married.  And not foreign as I only speak English fluently.  And must be able to financially support himself (hell, if I’m going to support someone, he better be damn fine in every regard).  Eh, maybe I just need a good ole’ cock……….tail at happy hour! 🙂

Oh and no, I obviously didn’t fall of the boat learning how to sail this weekend.  I did smash my head on the boom once (that swingy bar thingie that holds up the big sail) and did get to spend some quality time with TD and listen to him lamenting his love life (he really is a moron sometimes), but more on both of these things later.  Today is all about me being bitter and jaded and pissed and jealous.  I just love Mondays……….. you’re welcome.

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15 Responses to “Love Is In The Air”

  1. 1smiles Says:

    Do tell.. what is TD lamenting about? (It better be because he misses the crap out of you!)

  2. everevie Says:

    You see…your problem is that you have some sort of moral “issue” with lying. Where’s the harm in changing your profile age to 34…and your profession to “exotic dancer”? Maybe even posting pics of lingerie models to pass off as your own?

    Just imagine the stellar men who’d suddenly be contacting you?? So they might be a bit disappointed when you meet b/c you aren’t swinging around a pole…but, by then, they’ll be in love with your personality!!

    P.S. Totally kidding. 😉

    • lafinwitu65 Says:

      You laugh, but it happens, one of my dates showed up 10 years older than her pictures and at least 100 pounds heavier. She actually said “I just wanted you to see my personality”. Horrible!!!
      I politely excused myself and went home.

      • everevie Says:

        Well…I’ve had plenty-o-dates where the guy has been 10yrs older…3 inches shorter…and by “Divorced” they really meant separated…and by separated they meant…”my wife still lives with me temporarily, but sleeps in another room”…and by that they really meant: “I’m a lying cheating pig!”.

        Oh the joys of deceit!!

  3. lafinwitu65 Says:

    Here you go, guaranteed to get rid of the blues, and you can at least get some ironing done.

    Feel better…. :o)

    3 oz Vodka

    1 oz Campari

    2 oz Watermelon Pucker

    Chill the martini glass in the fridge,rub the edge of the glass with lime and pour in sugar.

    Put ice cubes into the shaker,add vodka and melon liqueur.Shake it well and and strain into cocktail glass.Fill the glass with crushed ice.

    Pour Campari with teaspoon to make the liqueur glow.

  4. ifUseekAmy Says:

    I agree with Evie…twist the truth a little…just kidding. It sucks that those of us who are 1000% honest get the shaft (and not the good one) in online dating 😦

    • singlewhitefemaledating Says:

      Everyone has the “advice” covered which let’s me off the hook; I am hearing you about the “age” thing though… I didn’t realise relationships were so conditional until I HIT a certain age. I have been married TWICE and it isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. LOL 😀

      • I wish I had it in me to be deceptive (not really) just to see what would happen but really? How do you cover for a lie like that? Ooopsie, didn’t realize i put that 😉

        Single, I think it’s a lot to do with the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome I seem to suffer from lately 😦

  5. Janet in Philly Says:

    Well, since you’re already miserable my news won’t make things much worse. I seem to have lucked out so far with the first eHarmony match. We’ve had 3 dates so far, each better than the previous, Hang in there – there’s a decent guy for you too! It just sucks that it’s taking so long for him to show up.


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