43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Hell, At This Rate I’m Going To Be Single Forever April 29, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:49 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So as anticipated, the two cuties that I sent a lame 1 line message to on Match looked at my profile and then didn’t respond.  Idiots.  Honestly, I know better.  I write terrific messages (much better than my blog posts…….really ;-)) and I just didn’t put the effort in.  I’m also wondering if my profile comes off as a bit bitchy.  I know, shocking coming from me, right?

Anyway, as I was busy napping and beating myself up for messaging TD yesterday, I was the lucky recipient of not one, but two cringe-worthy messages from losers bachelors on Match.  I have to wonder how ‘lucky’ these two get with their awesome approach:

Bachelor #1 ~ “Hi!!!!!!!!!! I love your smile!  Do you like to swim?” ……… uhm, what a randomly creepy thing to ask?  Do you think he’s going to invite me out on his boat and push me overboard or try to run me over with his propeller? I think I’ll pass.

Bachelor #2 ~ a lovely 28 year old who sends me this: “You are beautiful.  Please call or text me tonight.  Doesn’t matter how late.”  And he proceeds to send me his cel number.  What the hell?  If I want to be text messaged a penis picture I could just….oh wait, I don’t ever want to be text messaged one of those…….

I must say that internet dating is especially depressing this week………….


5 Responses to “Hell, At This Rate I’m Going To Be Single Forever”

  1. 1smiles Says:

    I’m going to be single forever too. However, I did receive a very lovely email today. I wrote back, AND he responded again. Probably turn out to be a penpal type. But it kept me occupied on a rainy Sunday.

  2. everevie Says:

    On Friday…I spent a good hour and a half at work, surrounded by a gaggle of girls from the office…laughing hysterically at all the profiles I’ve been sent. I really do think eharmony is messing with me b/c they know I’m not serious…after all, I canceled 2 days after I opened the account. Unfortunately…I had paid for 3 months…so I will continue to receive matches til then. :/

  3. free2Bu Says:

    Love this post, so authentic, raw and witty! Totally relatable.

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