43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I Can’t Believe You’ve All Put Up With Me For So Long April 29, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:45 am

Nor, to be honest, can I believe that TD has.  WTF?  I have declared no less than 3 times already that I am done with him.  The 1st time being back in October followed by the awesome New Year’s Eve Debacle, the great Valentine’s Week fiasco and finally, Wednesday.  I swear, I make myself sick sometimes with the wimpy doormat I’ve become.  Really?  3 previous times that I’ve tried and failed to walk away?  What the hell has happened to me?  Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday and encouraged me to stick to my guns about no contact.  I will admit that I suck and yesterday, before I was even wide awake, I messaged him and asked him to meet me on Friday and I regretted it the moment I did it.  He sent back ‘of course I will, I just don’t want to be the cause of any more of your sadness’.  To which I didn’t reply and I am going to tell him I can’t do Friday.  I’m pissed at myself for caving after 3 days and I really need to stop doing impulsive shit.   I’m just going to reply to his reply with a ‘sorry, something came up and I can’t do Friday after all’.  Period.  And I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN.  All of this, btw, is via e mail as I don’t have his phone number anymore. 🙂

So although all of your comments were absolutely wonderful and very much needed, you know what clinched it for me?  I worked with one of my favorite people last night.  She’s a total pacifist.  No, not in a tie-dyed-tree-hugging sorta way, but she’s probably one of the nicest people I know (except when it comes to kids, she hates them) with a totally level head and great insight into things.  Anyway, she used to read my blog and I wasn’t sure if she still did or not due to the fact that she actually has a life, so I wasn’t sure if she knew the latest.  When I asked her if she still read it, she said something along the lines of ‘I just skim it these days as I kind of want to punch TD in the throat’…….. or something to that effect.  Uhm …….. yeah.

I do deserve better.  I deserve someone who knows I’m what he wants.  I deserve someone who doesn’t have to talk himself into liking me.  I deserve someone who will not make me wonder if every time he looks at me he’s asking himself if he could have done better.  Fuck that.  I’m a good catch.  If he’s too stupid to see it and acknowledge it, then I hope he’s happy looking for the ever elusive ‘perfect’ ………


6 Responses to “I Can’t Believe You’ve All Put Up With Me For So Long”

  1. 1smiles Says:

    Most of the time we learn by taking two steps forward and one step back. Just to be reminded as you are being reminded, that back ther wasn’t offering you what you want. And that stepping forward at least hold the possibility that you cna find what you really do want.

  2. I’ve certainly taken enough steps back………time to start moving forward…….without him

  3. Lisa Says:

    Even if you hung in there, eventually you would get sick and tired of it and finally be done with him stringing you along. This is just a way to save you some time and frustration and open a chance for something positive. Why don’t you have his phone number? That speaks volumes no matter what he says. Pay attention to what men do and not what they say. It took me 30 years to get that so don’t judge yourself.

    • Hi Lisa, I deleted his number from my phone. Heck, I even have his garage code into house. I have paid attention to what he’s done and discounted what he’s said (he’s never lied to me about wanting to date around), which is how I’ve landed here. I read too much into his actions. The two aren’t mutually exclusive though……… 😉

      And you’re right, I would eventually get tired of it all …….. as I have before. It’s time to finally try to move on

  4. Two steps forward, one step back . . . sometimes three steps back. That’s how we roll. You’ve got this!

    Hugs and great success to you!

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