Oh hell no, not by me. I’m just looking for someone who doesn’t make me want to shove a rusty fork in my eye. Repeatedly. As we all know, I have an ever changing list of what I’m looking for in a partner (and just a tip guys, NEVER use ‘looking for a partner in crime’ in an online dating profile ~ we don’t know what the hell that means). They don’t have to be perfect. As a matter of fact, I prefer they not be. Perfect is boring. And unattainable. And as I am far from perfect, I would never expect to hold anyone else to those standards. I seem to be in the minority though. I ran a search, just for shits and giggles, using the keyword ‘perfect’ to see what would come up. I can’t tell you how many guys profiles actually state that they are looking for someone perfect. Their ‘dream woman’. What the hell guys?
I had this conversation with a friend the other day as to the challenges of dating in each of our respective age ranges. She’s a perky 30 something and I’m……….well, old. Ish. I think we’re both in some sort of holding pattern and waiting for ’round 3′ guys. In round one, they’re young and optimistic and they end up with who they think is the woman of their dreams. For whatever reason, that relationship doesn’t work out and heaven forbid the woman was a total bitch to him as he then goes into woman hater mode and decides that he’s the shit and will not settle for anything less than smack me in the face amazing. No really, I want to smack some of these guys in the face. Then, once this 2nd major woman in their life fizzles (looks only last so long ladies, you best have something to back it up with), he may actually gain some perspective on things and not look for perfection, but instead perfect for them. Don’t get me wrong. I would NEVER suggest than anyone settle as that’s just ridiculous. I would suggest that everyone, men and women alike, gain a bit of perspective on this whole thing they call life and love. Of course you’re going to learn new things with each relationship, but hopefully they’re based in reality instead of some mythical ideal.
I heard a saying the other day that went something like ‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it’. Pretty spot on if you ask me. You can’t carry forward your issues from one relationship to the next or else you’re just perpetuating the problem and most likely punishing the wrong person. I know this because I’ve been on the receiving end. And the dealing end too. I look back at everything that TD and I have been through and all the varying stages and hues of grey in our relationship. I saw things one way and he saw them another. Neither of us had the guts to clarify anything with the other so in the end, we both got what we deserved. He lost one of the best people he’ll ever meet from his life and I lost well …….. him. And part of me.
Ugh, enough of that. Back to my keyword search. The guys that came up that are looking for sheer perfection were less than perfect themselves. Sorta makes me wonder if any of them own a full length mirror (figuratively and literally) or if they just wander through life being totally deluded. You cannot ask for and expect perfection unless you are willing and capable of offering the same. It’s only fair. Duh. So over 300 guys came up in my search. Fat ones, skinny ones, tall ones, short ones, young ones, old ones and …… TD. Awesome. He’s certainly not going to find her at the shitty bar he’s at tonight with his ‘important’ friends.