So I’ve been a bit absent of late. Don’t let the title of this post fool you though, it’s not due to my jam packed social schedule or that I’ve met ‘the one’. Or anyone for that matter. I’ve just been working. And in a really weird ‘place’ that no one (including me) wants to hear me whine about. 😉 I was, however, contacted a few weeks ago by an apparently very confused yet nice man who seemed to think that my opinion might be of value. Not on world events or anything of earth shattering importance, but on love and relationships (which I guess is pretty earth shattering). Others, of course, not mine. We all know how those short lived little fiascos are in my world. He works for TLC Book Tours and wanted me to read and give my review of a book being published. On love. More specifically, love and relationships for old farts. Okay, not really old farts, but adults. Why he would select me as an ‘adult’ or ‘voice of reason’ or really, anyone whose opinion on the subject matter counts is beyond me but he must have accidentally landed on my blog while looking for tips on hanging icicle lights (or warnings about JDate) and figured out that I know how to read. 🙂 Anyway, without further ado, here we go!
Love for Grown Ups was written by 3 women who call themselves the ‘garter brides’ due to a shared garter belt that they all wore. Sort of like the whole ‘Sisters of The Traveling Pants’ kinda thing. One woman gets married, wears the garter and instead of flinging it into the crowd of guests, sends it on to the next. These 3 women, Ann Blumenthal, Patricia Ryan Lampl and Tish Rabe are friends and were all 30 and above when they met and subsequently married their men. They had all been through good and bad relationships in the past and thought that a book regarding how to find and make a relationship work for non-20 somethings would be of use. The ‘tag line’ of the book is ‘Guide to marrying for life when you’ve already got a life‘. When we’re already adults and somewhat set in our ways. It gives tips on meeting. Advice on keeping an open mind. Advice on staying optimistic (I just gagged a bit on that one ;-)). About how to integrate families. How to make time for that someone special in your life (should you be lucky enough to meet him). How to prioritize. How to integrate family and friends between the two. How to meld finances and households. It is peppered with personal stories of these 3 friends as well as hundreds of other women around the country on how they met and married their dream men. How they made things works and how they fit everything into an already full life.
For someone a bit less jaded than I am, I suppose reading all the little snippets from these women on how wonderful their men are and how they made everything work would be uplifting and encouraging. Just kinda made me jealous. Truthfully, although much of the advice offered in the book was good, I kind of found it to be common sense. Then again, I’m a not a huge proponent of self help or ‘rah-rah’ sorta things. I much prefer to muddle my way through things on my own (see how well that’s working for me?) and mess things up on my own. I suppose that much of the advice would be helpful and valuable to those that aren’t really as comfortable or able to change their mindset or need an extra little nudge. The book is quick reading and really encouraging (if you allow it to be) for those that might not think they’ll be able to fit a new man, his family, your job, his job, your friends, his friends, your family, your finances, his finances, his ugly couch, your shedding dog and all else into one cohesive unit.
I guess my ‘favorite’ piece of advice that was given, as it pertains to my current situation, was that ‘just joining a dating website doesn’t actually constitute dating’ ………. apparently you actually have to go on dates! Who knew?!? While I do think that ‘Love for Grown-Ups; the Garter Brides’ Guide To Marrying For Life When You’ve Already Got A Life’ (published by Harlequin) is a good read, unless they’re going to pull a good guy out of their closets for me, I don’t really need to know how to integrate everything. Kinda like putting the cart before the horse.