43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And The Plot Thickens June 19, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:24 pm

By plot I actually mean big ole’ heaping pile of crap, but it’s just semantics, right?  So I’ve been totally preoccupied with the new addition to the family vacay at the lake.  SO inappropriate on SO many levels for this woman to show up, after 1 date and integrate herself in with TD and the kids.  No, I’m not totally oblivious to the fact that TD could have put a stop to it at any time but is much to big of a pussy to do so.  The man truly feels that being weak and going along with what others want instead of saying what he wants in order to avoid conflict of hurting anyone’s feelings (besides mine, apparently) is the way to go.  In true GG fashion, I sent off an e mail to him last night at 1:15am calling him out on everything.  The dates, the lying, the deceit, the inappropriateness, the fact that he never takes any accountability for anything.  He responded back.  And I responded back.  And when asked if there was anything else he needed to tell me he said no.  Oh, wait, there is that one other thing.  Miss Stalker-Photographer (she’s hyphenated now), who magically showed up on property 2 days after they arrived, stayed for the next 7 days and got to spend all sorts of quality time with TD and the kids opted to extend her trip by AN ADDITIONAL DAY!  Which means, of course, that the reason I didn’t hear a peep from TD on father’s day was not because he was running the scavenger hunt that his kids had so carefully layed out for him (with my help long distance, thank you), but that she was with him on the scavenger hunt!  Are you fucking kidding me?

Anyway, I know this is the end of it.  The combination of the lies, the new person meeting the kids, TD’s inability to own up to anything and all else has pretty much ended it all.  And I realize I’ve said it before.  I really do think I’m done this time.  No, really.  I can’t keep putting his happiness in front of mine.  It’s retarded.  And ass backwards.  If he was really so concerned about protecting my feelings, he would have put his foot down and let NONE of this happen.  That’s just not his way though.

So as he sits at the lake, with his kids and my suitcase, and the stalker lady is finally back home (that I know of), I wonder if I can get away with using him for a free vacation while remaining detached.  Pretty sure I can.  Pretty sure I need to get away somewhere.  Pretty sure I can ignore his wants during the trip and do what I want.  Who knows.  I have until Friday to decide what to do.  Check back around 2 to see if I actually get on the plane or not as I have absolutely no clue at this point.

On a somewhat related note, Match.com is having some sort of happy hour event tonight.  Their 1st one in town and while I wasn’t going to go due to the ginormous amount of work that job #2 has opted to pile on us this week, I got a very odd invitation.  One of TD’s female confidantes, a woman that he met as a potential date last year that didn’t work out, who was actually the one rooting for me last November and who I’ve always wanted to meet if only to thank her for being in my corner when she’s never even met me, sent me a FB message (fine, FB is good for some things as she found me in TD’s friend’s list) asking if I wanted to go with her.  Now not only will this be a good opportunity to go out and hopefully meet a man or two, but I’ll actually get to meet my cheerleader.  And finally be able to thank her.  More importantly, to me anyway, is that I’ll finally get to find out what TD has really thought of me all along.  I know what he’s told me all this time but have never had a clue what he’s told others.  As I’m positive that he’s more honest with her than he is with me (in his lame way to protect my feelings), I hope she feels comfortable enough talking to me.  After hearing from TD last night that his lack of truth telling in order to avoid conflict seems to be a regular MO for him, I’m left to wonder if he really meant anything that he’s ever told me and that’s a horrible place to be.

At the very least, this will either be a very interesting evening or a very soul crushing one.  😦 I’d rather know than not, ya’ know? ……….

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14 Responses to “And The Plot Thickens”

  1. Kat Richter Says:

    Oh no! Admittedly I’ve missed a few posts lately (quite a few actually… :() but then the second I got caught up I saw the letters “TD” and I said oh noooo! Still? Or have I missed something? Can you pretty please post a reader’s digest version explaining why he is still in the picture? 😉

    • Hi Kat. You don’t need an entire blog post to catch up. I can summarize quite nicely for you. Why is TD back in the picture you ask? That, my friend, is because I’m an idiot ……. the end

  2. lafinwitu65 Says:

    Why on earth would he put a stop to the attentions and affections of another woman? He knows that he can have you any time he wants. Why not have the best of both worlds? He clearly knows that when the dust settles from all this that you will more than likely be waiting for him like a love sick puppy.

    At different times in my life I have been both guys, the “lovesick puppy” and the douchebag leading a woman on. So I know for a fact that T.D. will probably never make you first, and even if he did could you really live with yourself and respect yourself after he clearly put these other women first, after he created and caused all this pain? Really?

    The best you can do at this point is get your revenge by being happy, and successful. Make him miss you and realize what he missed out on. You always being there will never, never work. Give him and yourself space.

    You deserve someone that worships you and puts you first from the very beginning and until you seperate yourself from this guy you will be so distracted and hurt from TD`s crap that you wont be ready for him and he will escape.

    You deserve way better. G.G.

    • Thanks Laf…… I know, I know…..believe me, I KNOW! Thanks for the kick in the head regarding to be a ‘lovesick puppy’. I love sounding (and acting) like a desperate loser.

      I appreciate your saying that I deserve someone better. And I do. It’s just not that easy. But I will separate myself from him. No, really……

  3. ifUseekAmy Says:

    I’m gonna say it one last time and then I’ll let it drop…remove him from your life.

    It’s plain to see that being ‘friends’ isn’t beneficial to you in any capacity. It only brings you heartache and agita.

    If he were to ever come around and decide you are the one…like the above commenter asked…could you accept that after all he did to you?

    I don’t believe he’s as clueless as you may be telling yourself (denial and wearing blinders are two strategies I know well, trust me). He probably isn’t a bad person, but he’s no angel. He knew he was stringing you along. He knew damn well that you still have feelings for you and parading another woman in front of you would hurt you. And he had to be acting in a manner with the vacation crasher that made her think it was OK to hang out uninvited for a week (if, in fact it was uninvited).

    I know you don’t want to cut him or his kids out of your life, but you really need to. For your sanity and emotional health. And when I say “cut off”, I mean everything…out of your phone contact list, off of FB, out of email address book. At the very least you need to do this with him. Keep in touch with his kids if you need to, but just the kids. Not him. At. All.

    I’m your biggest supporter and will stand behind you in whatever you do, but I see keeping him in your life is not working and is preventing you from moving on and being happy.

  4. tripletall180mochagirl Says:

    Hey GG, I have been reading for a few months and finally decided to comment. Let me tell ya girl I am experiencing the exact same thing you are with my ex. We dated 4.5 years and out of the freaking blue he discarded me like I was nothing and replaced me. He has done all the things TD has done to you…leading me on trying to remain friends…giving me enough crumbs to stay connected. It is gut wrenching torture we are putting ourselves thru and for what? lafinwitu65 is extremely wise. His advice is sound and exactly what I needed to solidify my decision to cut him out of my life completely as of this past Sunday. What we can’t accept is the “rejection”. It hurts to be rejected and we think if we are friends and stay in their lives that they will eventually see how great we really are but the truth is that won’t happen. As long as we continue to give them attention they will continue to disrespect us with all of their tactics. If they did turn around eventually and want us back, could we honestly forget all that they have done? I know I couldn’t and nor would I ever trust him again. But what drives us to keep trying is the fact they rejected us and we just want that satisfaction of knowing they really want us back. Once they do, then we would reevaluate and decide, hey he really isn’t all that. The best way to make this happen is to reject him completely now. Make him miss you, make him really want to chase you again. And we he does, then you will will have your satisfaction of no longer being rejected by him and can move on to a man who will value you and respect you! We are smart intelligent women and for the life of me I don’t know why we let them suck us back into their web. I caught him in a lie Sunday and sent him a text, “really didn’t think you would lie to me again.” He replied “lie to you?” I didn’t respond. He sent another text the next night, “So what exactly did I lie about now?” Again, I did not respond and will not respond. He probably has told me so many lies he wants to find out which one I know about. I am done being this man’s puppet and yes I have said this several times before only to get charmed by him and drawn back into his web of lies and deceit. BUT NO MORE SISTER! I swear I am done and the more I think about all that he has done these last few months the more I see how blind I was to all of it while in the relationship. When we love someone we tend to overlook their faults and put blinders on, but now my eyes are wide open and I see him for who he really is and it made me question our whole relationship. I too am very close with his children. He has 4 boys and I have two. We lived together for a year but I have known him and his children for 7 years. They practically grew up with me and tell me I am like their second mom. They don’t understand what he did either. We never fought, had great sex, and were a great blended family. I truly believe men are just hardwired to have their egos boosted and we are old news and new women provide an opportunity for them to boost their egos again. They can present themselves to other women in a way only to reveal the good parts. These other women don’t know all of their baggage and faults so it’s fun for them to live in these fantasy worlds. We know the truth about them and all their shortcomings so we aren’t exciting any more. So my advice is to listen to lafinwitu65 and cut him loose completely! I can be your moral support because I am in the exact same place you are. We can help each be STRONG! Peace!

    • lafinwitu65 Says:

      aww thanks tripletall…. :0)

      Someone told me once “when you are hurt and broken you tend to attract hurt and broken to you”. Take some time, heal and enjoy being with yourself. (not in that way hee hee) Its when we stop looking that Love will find us.

      I hope things work out for you TT. I think we all see a bit of ourselves in GG and that s what draws us here.

      GG and TT you have an open invitation to SoCal for some seaside beverages, flirting and ego boosting like you have never seen.

      • tripletall180mochagirl Says:

        Dang too bad I live on the complete opposite side of the states (Southeastern VA). I get to San Diego occasionally for a conference so maybe one day! Hey just curious, were you born in 1965? I am :o)

        • lafinwitu65 Says:

          SD is only 2 hours away. The gas lamp district is awesome, and I know a place where you can get sandy toes while you get your drink on.
          Yes I was born in 65 :0)

    • Hi Triple! Glad you decided to comment. I so appreciate your thoughtful words. Everything you say is true. I’m sorry you’re going thru what you are but glad that you’ve decided to take a stand and stick to it. Hopefully I will be able to do the same…..

  5. I am going to start our by saying that your opening line made me shit my pants with laughter (in a good way, if there can be a good way to shit your pants). It just sums up life so nicely. “By plot I actually mean big ole’ heaping pile of crap.” Amazing.

    Secondly, the gist of what I want to relay is in the comments above so I will say this… you only get one life; don’t waste it on a douchebag

    • Thank you Elle. You’re right. I don’t know why I can’t let this one go……. he’s given me more than enough reason to and I don’t, in fact, enjoy acting like a lame assed loser (contrary to how I’ve been acting the past 5 months)……. I am going to do it this time. I promise. Not promise you, but promise myself….. maybe 😉


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