Or is it ‘no risk, no reward’? Or maybe ‘you can’t win if you don’t play’? Or maybe it’s just ‘you’re and idiot and waited much too long to admit defeat’? Kinda feels like the last one. I’m supposed to board my flight in 5 hours. After i’m done feeding 180 clients. No stress in that, right? I’m still considering not going. I’m not sure that I’m a good enough actress to be able to get thru the week without turning into a blubbering mess. Damn it, I miss the old heartless me.
In the end of it all, it was worth the risk. I just stayed in the game too long. As I didn’t realize it was a ‘game’ to begin with, I opened my heart to someone who truly deserved it, but who had way too many challenges to begin with. Sure, i’m a ‘fixer’ by nature, but this one just has too many damn puzzle pieces for me to handle. I deserve better….
(Doesn’t hurt that the fact that he’s gone from having extreme doubts about ‘her’ on Monday to removing his profile from Match and apparently deciding that after 1 real world date and a week’s worth of deception on vacation, that she’s the one he wants to risk his heart on on Wednesday. Kinda makes my resolve all that much stronger. I hope)