I haven’t quite decided which yet. Nice to know that if I am ever so inclined that I have a very unattractive and short 58 year old Oklahoma Oil Tycoon (?) willing to wine and dine me. I may be in the midst of a huge dating slump right now, but I doubt I’ll ever be that desperate. Yeah, I know, I’m sure he has a terrific personality. So do I. And it’s 14 years younger than his. Not sure what to attribute my lack of messages and/or winks by anyone decent (aside from Evie) on match lately. New pics are up (including some great ones from my trip to the lake – shut up), my ‘essay’ is pretty darn good and aside from the fact that I have the ginormous neon red flag of ’44 and never married’ emblazoned across the top of my profile, I’d date me. Or at least wink for crying out loud. I kinda think I may need to move. After 2 years online dating, I think I have either met, annoyed, dated, scared away or pissed off every eligible
douchebag bachelor in my geographical radius.
Along those lines, I’m finding myself doing something quite odd. I’m packing. Not for a liquor soaked trip to Vegas (although I sure as hell could use one of those), but rather in a getting ready to move sorta way. Not sure what that’s about. Actually, I do. I’m trying to keep myself busy and when I feel that the rest of my life is in chaos and out of my control, I will control and ‘tidy up’ what I can. Apparently that means packing up my living room and putting some of my furniture on Craig’s List. When I was younger I would run away from my problems. Although I realize that changing locations does nothing to solve anything and you end up just taking your issues with you, it worked pretty well. I was also in my 20s and everything was easy back then (including me). Ha! I guess I’m just trying to get some order in my life and if that means purging tons o’ stuff, then so be it.
I’ve been floating in and out of a tremendous funk since I got back and said goodbye again and oddly enough for someone who’s been unable to sleep more than 4-5 hours a night for years, all I find myself wanting to do is sleep. Yes, I know, it’s a pretty dangerous sign and I will only give into it for a couple more days, but I find myself only being able to work or concentrate for a few hours at a time. Otherwise I come back home and crawl into bed with a book. Although I love to read and haven’t been able to in years due to lack of time, it’s sort of a lame escape for me. Funny thing though …… I don’t think I’ve spent this much time at home in almost a year. I’ve always been over at TD’s when I had any free time (and even when I didn’t). This is totally new for me. And my house and dogs thank me for it.
TD’s son had his 1st ‘official’ date with a sweet girl that he’s been ‘seeing’ (which, when you’re 15 I think constitutes holding hands in the hall at school and having lunch together) today. He had asked me if I would drive them to the movies today and although at 1st I said that one of his parents probably should and that he needed to check with them, he said ‘pretty please’ and I said I would love to. I thought that was very sweet of him. He’s really a great kid and gets his great big heart from his dad. Too bad his dad’s heart is damaged beyond repair right now and being aimed towards someone entirely wrong for him. Meh.
I need to stop whining about TD. Yup, pretty devastated about it but I know that I’m more upset than he is. Actually, I don’t know that, but while I’m at home wallowing and throwing little pity parties for myself, he’s probably attempting to see his high maintenance VCW. Who lives far from him and has her kids every night. 2 things I know he’s not thrilled about. Pretty sure my walking away will make him even more inclined to chase after VCW as he doesn’t like being alone all that much. I’m kinda sick of being the needy loser that I’ve turned into. While I’m doing my best to bounce back as fast as possible and know that each day will get easier, it’s tough. I’ll come out on top, I know …. I just wish it would be a quicker fix.
Damn, this is an annoyingly all over the place post …….. you’re welcome. Hey, at least I’m not curled up in a ball in a dark corner somewhere with a ginormous cocktail and greasy bag of fast food! That was yesterday ………. 😉