43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Testing, Testing…… July 7, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:25 am

Not in a 1,2,3 is this microphone on kinda way.  In a, how the hell am I going to do with my 1st ‘test’ of my anti-TD campaign.  We all know I’m a pussy.  In the worse sense of the word (is there a good sense?) when it comes to TD.  And his kids.  I have never missed one of TD Jr’s basketball games.  This week has been horrible.  Yesterday and this morning have absolutely sucked thanks to a lovely and quite vivid dream I had about TD.  And The Vacation Crashing Whore.  I’m not a moron, but the thought of him touching her and *gasp* bike riding with her makes me physically nauseous.  I’ve stopped myself from contacting him as that would pretty much be the equivalent of renting billboard space on the I-10 announcing what a fucking loser I am.  I’m afraid to sleep now for fear that I will have another nightmare dream about them together. 😦 Anywhoo, TD Jr is playing today.  2 games.  I already missed the 1st as I couldn’t bring myself to go knowing that TD would be there.  I want to go to the 2nd one.  I am thinking I’ll show up late and just sit at the edge of the bleachers by myself and look like a total loser.  I miss them all.  I don’t think I can go cold turkey with all of them.  I want to go to the game for TD Jr.  He likes me being there and specifically invited me.

If the Vacation Crashing Whore is there, that’s a whole other story.  As TD promised me that she would have no interaction with the kids for a ‘long time’, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if he lied to me about that too.  If she is there, I may have to sit alone not at the bottom of the bleachers, but at the top.  And try not to throw myself over the side.

Wish me luck………

Oh, and did I forget to tell you all what I had for breakfast today?  Yup, a la Webster, I had a big fat cocktail at 8:30am and will probably make another ‘to go’ to get me thru.  Ahhhh, breakfast of champions.  Or heartbroken lame assed losers …….. you decide.


4 Responses to “Testing, Testing……”

  1. I feel so conflicted. On one hand I want to take you out for a drink and give you a big hug and make all your hurt magically disappear! On the other hand, I want to shake you and tell you to wake up! That man will never appreciate you and I know I have said my piece in previous comments, but I can’t bear to watch him treat you like this. And you allow it 😦

    Guess he saved a bundle on hiring a laborer to help him with his vacation home. Bet he didn’t have the VCW slaving away. He gets away with treating you so badly. I can’t stand it.

    I understand you care deeply for his children, but if I were in your position I personally would schedule one on one time with them. That way I wouldn’t have to see their father. It sends the message you care about them but not TD.

    That is just my 2 cents. Hope I don’t come off too bitchy. Some of your posts light a fire under me and it is hard for me not to speak my mind. I wish you all the best in getting over him. He did a number on you and I feel so awful for you because I know you don’t enjoy acting and feeling as you do.

    • I’m awake! I’m awake! He doesn’t get to treat me in any way anymore as I’m done. I’m not done with his kids, however. Not yet, at least. He did treat me like shit and I finally realized it. Only took a year 😉 Okay, to be honest, really only about 6 months as he didn’t treat me all the crappy before this year.

      I will schedule one on one time with his kids but the basketball thing is just something I’m going to have to deal with as I want to be there; TD Jr wants me to be there, and I’ve never missed a game. I will do my best to steer clear of TD during the games……..

      I totally appreciate your input and you do not come off too bitchy at all. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for everyone to keep reading the same old crap from me without me getting a clue. I assure you, I have a clue now…….. xoxoxoxo

  2. Kat Richter Says:

    I hear you on the kid bit… the hardest part of breaking up with my college boyfriend was saying goodbye to his dog, and now that I’m dating a man with two kids, I don’t even want to think about what would happen if we broke up, so hopefully we won’t.

    But moving on to my next point (and like Hates Running Heels, I apologize if this sounds bitchy) listen to yourself: “He didn’t treat me all [that] crappy last year.” Are you serious? You shouldn’t be with anyone who treats you any less than WONDERFULLY! When you get to a point of justifying or quantifying how crappy someone is treating, it is time to move on. In fact, it is BEYOND time to move on, and I say this as someone who has been there. I was so wrapped up in what I thought I felt for Date #7 that I couldn’t see him for what he really was, nor could I see our relationship for what it really was. Fortunately, the universe made it pretty easy for me to make a decision by basically dropping The Wedding Date right in front of me but it wasn’t until I cut ALL TIES with Date #7 that I was finally able to move on and find someone who– here’s a novel idea– actually treats me well.

    Please, please, please be DONE with him. And stop beating up on yourself for putting up with him. You’re not a loser. You’re an optimist, and you try to see the best in people, so stop acting like you don’t deserve better because you do.

    • I know, I know. I’m done. He’s not a bad or mean man, he’s just bad for me (in that he just wants to just be friends – with occasional benefits – and I want more). He has a good heart and is just a fucking clueless dipshit. I’m done with the drama and all else. It IS time to move on. And I am …….. I promise. Not promise you, btw, but promise myself 🙂

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