43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Well That Wasn’t So Bad…….. July 7, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:43 pm

If comparing it to Chinese water torture or shoving a rusty fork in your eye, that is.  I just got back from TD Jr’s basketball game.  He came over, mid game, to thank me for coming and even waved to me from the court. 🙂 Anywhoo, I didn’t need to worry about showing up fashionably late so I wouldn’t have to sit with TD as I couldn’t even find my way into the school parking lot.  Yes, it’s the simple things in life that provide the biggest challenges for me.  Once I did and managed to find my way to the gymnasium, I sauntered in, didn’t look at the ‘crowd’ and sat down at the 1st available seat.  Yey.  Awkward moment #1 avoided.  Until I realize that I didn’t actually recognize any of the kids playing.  Shit.  Wrong court.  So I managed to find my way to the correct court, walked in, once again didn’t even look up in the stands and plopped my ever growing ass down nearest the door.  As luck would have it, TD came over to sit by me (insert sarcasm here).  I didn’t want him to, but didn’t know what to say, so I just watched the game.  He tried to make chit chat and I, being the ever moronic dummy, tried to respond as tersely as I could without being a total bitch.  Wanna know what a dipshit he is?  He told me that I looked good……..and relaxed.  Yes TD, probably because all I’ve done all week was lay in bed and cry.  Oh, and the fact that I’ve finally been able to remove all the paint from under my nails, actually took a shower and did not have to do construction all week probably helped.  Dumbass.  Wanna know what else I found out?  That he’s pulling his same lame ‘i’m not ready so I’m going to pull away’ bullshit with TVCW.  And I don’t feel sorry for her in the least.  He offered up that they are on the outs, that he probably won’t see her again, that they’ve had some long chats about it and that he’s still not sure if he’s just not ready or if he just hasn’t found the right person yet.  Waaaaaaa.  Poor fucker guy.  I looked at him and said I was sorry and then shrugged.  If he thought I was going to console him, he certainly had another thing coming.  I did say that it was a shame how things went down with this one and he, being the dullest crayon in the box, asked if I meant how things with her were ending.  Uhm, no.  I mean how they started.  You know, the knowingly crushing me by inviting and including her on your family vacation and lying to me about it.  You know, the part where it ended our friendship?  Of course instead of seeing anything in a way that affect anyone but himself, he says ‘yeah, we both (he and TVCW) got caught up in the excitement and it was too much too soon’.  Really?? This one isn’t about you TD…….. As an added bonus, he told me that he was starting to embrace the single life.   Uh, whatever……… He didn’t once ask me how I was doing which is just as well ’cause I’m sure my fucking weepy eyes told him all he needed to know (I have GOT to get that under control!)

When the game was over, I went over to say hello to TD’s ex wife and to see his daughter (who oddly enough would not look in my direction at all during the game 😦 ).  I invited she and TD Jr to spend the afternoon with me on Thursday.  I miss them.  I figure an afternoon of lunch and something fun will do us all good.  They both smiled and said great. 🙂

As I left TD gave me the most uncomfortable hug.  Actually, he went in for a real one and I totally pulled the ass out high school non touching hug thing.  Very strange…….. Disappointed that TD still only sees things from his point of view.  Even more disappointed that he probably still has no clue that he did anything wrong.  Although I know it shouldn’t matter, I feel better about things knowing that he and TVCW are on the outs.  NO, not because I see another chance for myself, but because I think it will be easier not knowing that he’s with someone.  I fully anticipate him meeting someone and not running away at some point, I just have no desire to know anything about it.  In total contrast to the ‘friend’ that I claim to be to him, I want him to feel just as shitty as I do.  I will now sit patiently for karma to come give me another swift kick in the ass for being such a bitch.

Thanks to my double double, animal and protein style, compliments of In-N-Out, said ass provides a little bigger target in which Karma can come kick me. 🙂

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