43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

But They’re Still Facebook Friends…… July 8, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:53 pm

‘Cause we all know that de-friending someone is akin to amputation and can’t be undone.  I mean really, how are you going to cyber-stalk someone effectively if you don’t have full access to their Facebook page, right?  No, thank you very much, I’m not talking about myself.  I’m talking about TVCW.  The agenda pushing, vacation crashing, stalker-ish weirdo that TD had some sort of a ridiculous mini relationship with.  1 date in town, 1 week at the lake, 5 days back in town.  And it’s over.  She called him out on his backing away bullshit and he opted out.  She demanded a straight answer from him immediately (after originally giving him a week to think about it) and he said no.  Yet she’s still facebook friends with him.  Both of her are.  One page from her work and one page from her personal.  And about 25 lbs difference in photographs.  I’m just sayin’……..

We all know, at least the 2 of you that haven’t gotten fed up with me yet, that I have absolutely no sympathy for TVCW due to her inability to see the complete inappropriateness of joining TD’s family on vacation after one date.  I don’t care if he invited her or not, she’s a mom and should know better than to involve the kids so soon.  Or to conspire to act out some bold-faced lie to everyone.  I would like to say she’s an idiot and bitch and deserves everything she gets, but even I’m not that heartless.  Well, I kinda am.  TD has really got to work out his issues before taking another woman down.  He’s a bit similar to me in the whole ‘all or nothing’ department.  He doesn’t seem to be able to just date.  It’s either a relationship or not.  And he doesn’t give anyone a chance before he freaks out and runs away.  Yup, I know from 1st hand experience.  Although he claimed otherwise, I think he was excited (maybe) about the prospects with TVCW.  Hell, she lasted an entire week longer than I did before getting ‘the talk’.  Sadly, she has responded in much the same way that I did.  With lengthy (and most likely whiney) ‘why not me talks’ along with epic e-mails.  No clue what the e mails entailed, but I’m sure they weren’t all that dissimilar to the ones I’ve sent in the past retardedly pouring my heart out.  Nice.

I always knew that TD was very easy to fall in love with.  Deep down, he’s a pretty amazing guy.  He’s just not working with a full emotional deck right now, so he has nothing to give anyone else.  He doesn’t see it that way and is still trying to decide if ‘he’s just not ready or if he just hasn’t met the right one yet’.  Uhm, it’s going to be hard to meet the right one (besides me, of course) if he doesn’t give anyone a real chance.  I know I can’t have any sort of contact with TD because despite all he’s done to me, he’s like some pathetic homeless puppy that I feel sorry for and want to hug and tell that everything will be okay.  That he will find the right person someday and deserves to be happy and loved.  How fucked up is that?

So I’m supposed to see the kids on Thursday.  I told them I’d pick them up for lunch and we’d then go do something fun.  Sadly, I hadn’t actually thought this thru all the way as I’m sure they’re confused as hell right about now why I would sit them down little over a week ago and teerfully explain that I wouldn’t be able to see them anymore and that although I’d miss them terribly, I just couldn’t be around their dad anymore.  Who the hell knew he’d come sit by me at the game yesterday?!?!  TD will need to make sure they are okay with everything and I haven’t just traumatized them further before Thursday.  After that, I will keep my contact with them limited to text messages and FB.  Sucks, but I can’t figure out another way to be able to see them and not see TD.  There is no way in hell I can allow myself to get sucked back in again.  I have no more self-respect to lose.

Oh, and btw, I know what you’re all thinking.  How on earth do I know all that I do regarding the VCW?  TD was nice enough to send me an e-mail last night letting me know.  He said that although it shouldn’t matter to me, that he knew deep down that it would.  And then he did something amazing.  Something he hadn’t yet done regarding the whole lake fiasco.  He took full responsibility for the epic fuck up.  I almost fell off my chair!  Of course, he was then nice enough to let me know that while he probably wouldn’t be putting his profile up on Match again anytime soon, that he still has his e-harmony (’cause they’re more relationship oriented over there and there’s less deception ya’ know) profile up and will work on ways to meet people in ‘real world’ ways.  Oh, and that he has a date tonight with someone new.  ‘Cause being back home for all of 8 days, and having officially ended things with TVCW last night, he’s managed to meet and reject one other woman and opted out of meeting another.  Yes, he’s just that clueless to believe that I care.  Truth be told, I’m actually a little impressed.  I remember when I used to be able to have 3 dates a week………… *sigh*


11 Responses to “But They’re Still Facebook Friends……”

  1. SillyG Says:

    and you know damn well you could have three dates a week!

  2. ifUseekAmy Says:

    OK, you need to tell him that you are no longer friends and you don’t want to hear from him. Tell him to lose your number, lose your email address, and to not approach you uninvited again. Because by him dumping all of his woe-is-me crap on you again…that’s fucking bullshit and I want to punch him in the face.

    • Hi Amy. I’m just not there yet. NO, he is not back in my life. It was stupid of me to want to see the kids or think that I could separate them from him, but I am done buying into his woe is me crap. It is bullshit. I just can’t outwardly tell him to fuck off … yet. I have ignored his messages if that helps you to understand a little bit, but for some reason, I just can’t pull out my bitch card with him. I’m sure that time will come, it’s just not today…..

      • ifUseekAmy Says:

        But by letting him email you or text you, it’s letting him use you for him to dump out all his thoughts. Even if you don’t respond, he’s being able to say it. It’s kinda like blogging. You get to dump out all your thoughts and feelings and most times you don’t get a response (from the person you are writing about). But you get it out there and it’s therapeutic. He’s texting and emailing and sitting next to you and pouring out his guts. And it doesn’t matter if you respond or not…he’s still getting it off his chest and knows that you are hearing/reading it.

        He has NO right to USE you for that anymore. And he needs to know that. You don’t need to literally say “fuck off”. But you can ask him to “please leave you alone and to respect the need for you not to hear from him anymore”.

        And seriously, unfriend him…it’ll send him a message and it will help you heal. How can you begin to heal when you are FB stalking him and her every day?????

        • I kinda love you Amy. I am NOT FB stalking him! I just wanted to see if TVCW unfriended him yet ……. okay, so I was kinda stalking. I’m a little more co-dependent than I ever thought I was and think that by not cutting every single tie at once, that I will be able to gradually cut them all. I realize I make MANY bad decisions regarding him, but I also know how I need to go about things this way if I ever hope to stick to my decision. You are absolutely right about him dumping his stuff on me. I brought this batch on myself by showing up at TD JR’s basketball game (a bad decision and one that TD’s ex wife, who used to like me, is now PISSED at me for doing)……..I certainly can’t unfriend TD Jr right now, so even if I did ditch TDs page, I’d still be able to get to it had I the desire …….

          Damn, I sound like a nutcase! I swear I’m doing my best in making this happen Amy ………. I really am…..

  3. Rebecca Says:

    I love you and your blog and I’ve been reading it forever. But I can’t wrap my mind around the fact you are so angry with TVCW, but place little blame on TD and allow him to get back into your life so easily.

    You realize TVCW is probably being just as manipulated by him as you? As long as he strung you along, he is most likely doing it to her. As much as he says he’s ending it, he’s probably giving her a different story. I think your anger may be misplaced.

    • Thanks Rebecca. I appreciate your thoughts and don’t disagree that much of my anger is displaced. I’m sure she had no idea what was coming and although I don’t express it properly, I am VERY angry with TD for doing this. Not only to me, but to the kids and to TVCW. His stupid lies cost a lot of people to pay a high price. The price he paid is my friendship and trust. And the trust of his kids. While I do think TVCW is to blame as well, I know it was all TD’s doing. He should have known better. And probably did, but was just being selfish …….. TD is not back in my life. I had hoped that I could keep the kids in my life without him, but found out today that that was a stupid little pipe dream of mine………

  4. missgrill Says:

    come visit. maybe I can talk you into sharing one of your hits!! (….btw, its silly)

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