The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

It’s About Time Someone Around Here Starts Dating…… July 28, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:23 am
Tags: , , , ,

As I seem to be off my game (translation: I suck) and I am quite positive that you all cannot figure out why a blog that claims to be about internet dating is full of self pitying whiney annoying posts, I figured I’d throw you all a bone.  Actually, I believe someone else has taken pity on you and has offered to help throw bones (possibly literally).  Although I am doing my best to get back into dating, it may be a boring rough road.  I figured I might need some help.  You’ve all 2 have read my opinion on things and dates and outlooks and douchebags online for almost 2 years now (and thank you for not killing yourselves yet) but I think getting a male perspective on all this nonsense might be a pretty damn awesome thing.  And will totally help me out so that I have something interesting to post for you all to read other than my shopping list and woe is me crap.  So, my friends, I have been virtually approached by one of my favorite bloggers to partner up and have him (yes, a guy!) post his tales of all things internet dating on here!  Yey!  Finally something interesting for you all to read!  A guy who internet dates.  Not just any guy mind you.  A really good guy who seems to have a great heart an amazing way with words, and possibly some soon to share lurid dating stories!!!  So, without further ado, I give you …………………. Matthew!!!! (I’m so flippin’ excited about this!) 🙂


Good Morning/Day/Evening to you.
Some of you know me. Some of you do not. Odds are, most of you have no friggin’ clue who I am. My name is Matthew. I blog. What about? Why don’t you go take a gander, I’ll wait. [this is where you want to click on this link to visit my personal blog:]
That’s the basic gist of things. I’m a good guy, or at least I try to be. Yes, we all screw up from time to time. Other times we are merely human and as humans we sometimes do things that make us out to be the bad guy. The thing to take away from it is to try and learn from those situations, those experiences, and allow yourself the opportunity to recognize if there are any things you want to change.
Our lives are made up of choices. Our lives are made up of situations. Our lives are made up from circumstance.
But I don’t need to go off on some philosophical tangent about life and how to lead a better one. I need to get to the reason for why I’m here on GG’s page and why you’re reading this?
On Friday July 13th, 2012 my girlfriend, of 16 months, ended our relationship. To be honest I had seen it coming weeks before. To be more honest, there were times in those last couple of months that I even began to have my doubts about our future together. But I’m an optimistic guy. I would rather try, and fail, at something than never try at all. I was creating the “excuse” that we were just in a slump and things would eventually rebound and be like they were at the beginning.
Arriving at home that evening from having taken a buddy of mine out for some beer and wings (as he had just been let go from his job that very morning), immediately walking in the door she said, “I have something I need to tell you.”
I’m thirty-one [31]. There is enough experience in those years to know that typically those words are not followed up with, “I just won the 1,000,000 dollar jackpot.”
Without boring you in details we ended on a good note. It could probably go down as one of the best break ups ever; and perhaps some day I may share more details with you. But for now you simply get, we both eventually agreed with the reasoning behind why things simply would not work out for us.
In the past, when a relationship ended, I took a LONG time before getting back into the dating world. I’d evaluate the relationship; things I liked about myself, things I didn’t. I’d take time to reflect and figure out what (if any) changes I wanted to make before trying to include someone into my life again.
This time around…I’m not really feeling that. I’m ready to get back into the dating world again. Not this exact minute but close enough.
Here’s where things stand right now. She and I are currently living in the same house. It is going to be like that for somewhere between the next 5 days to 3 weeks. During that time I will not be going on any dates, nor pursuing anything of that nature. To me, that’s just being respectful to not only her, but our relationship and even the girl(s) I’ll eventually end up going out with.
August 20th I am hoping to be completely moved into a new apartment and thus beginning my “bachelor” living status again.
Traditionally I’ve always been a relationship type of guy. Always looking for the next adventure in love. I’ve been in love three times, with about 5 years (average) between those relationships. During those single periods in life I never really dated around. Not much casual dating.
I’ve never had a one-night-stand or even had a casual sexual relationship with someone. Yes, I’ve had a couple ‘friends-with-benefits’ but that more (or less) involved making out, fooling around a little bit, but never any sex.
Here’s where you get a bit of a twist. Casual dating, random making out, perhaps even a consensual casual sex ‘agreement’ appeals to me right now. The key is to have fun and enjoy life. For someone who has never really done this…it’s kind of intimidating/frightening/exciting. I’m looking forward to meeting a lot of people. I’m looking forward to experience new things. I’m looking forward to loosening these chains that have been wound tightly around me for too long.
Please do not misinterpret my intentions regarding relationships. Yes, in the end, I would love to eventually meet the woman to call Mrs. Matthew but I am going to let time be on my side. If I meet someone I don’t want to just jump into a relationship with them. I want to give it the time it rightly deserves to grow and develop.
And that, my friends, if why I’m here because I’m going to need somewhere to put my thoughts; to come for advice and other minds. GG has been ever so gracious to allow me to document my experiences here on her blog and I think it will be a very good fit considering her blog theme and experiences and I think we all (writers and readers) will benefit from this additional perspective (male) on the dating/single life.
So, that’s the beginning to my story.

8 Responses to “It’s About Time Someone Around Here Starts Dating……”

  1. Matthew Says:

    Is it weird that I’m the first person to comment on a post that I technically wrote?

    Thank you GG for the amazing intro and allowing me to partner up with you as we both write our own personal auto-blographies to not only learn from our own experiences and mistakes but perhaps helping others avoid the mistakes we may end up making.

    • Uhm, er……….no, not weird at all Matthew! 🙂 I’m very excited about all of this Matthew! Your new search, my new (hopefully better) search, all the great stories …….. One question though……what are these ‘mistakes’ that you speak of? Do I not make entirely awesome and intelligent decisions when it regards guys? Oh wait, that’s right, I do the opposite 🙂

      Can’t wait for your next post!

  2. SillyG Says:

    Look great! Hi Matthew, I am regular get on my soapbox and tell GG to smarten up regular commenter. Nice to to meet you

    GG, this better not be an excuse to not go out on bad dates just for blog posts ;D

    • I count on you to keep that up Silly …….. uhm, and although I wish I could avoid them, I am certain there will be many more posts about bad dates by me

    • Matthew Says:

      Nice to meet you too SillyG. We all have to work together to keep GG in check. 😉

      And I hope she doesn’t ‘slack’ on posts because odds are my posts definitely won’t be as frequent as hers, but I’ll aim to try for at least a couple a week.

  3. everevie Says:

    Yaaaay!! I LOVE this idea! And I’m so, so happy to see you (Matthew) back in the bloggyverse. I’ve missed you. 🙂

    On another note…I’m very sorry about the Girl. Although, I am glad you are both handling it so maturely. It speaks volumes about how much you care for and respect each other. Not that I’d expect anything less from you, the original Nice Guy. 🙂

    I can’t wait to read your dating adventures!

    GG….hope to read more of YOUR dating adventures too!

    • Matthew Says:

      Thanks Evie. I do want to at make it known that though the break up went well, since then there have definitely been less-than-stellar moments. We’ve had some arguments and we’ve both said some pretty mean things to each other. So, just so it be known us “Nice Guys” do slip up from time to time and our anger/frustrations do get the better for us. Am I proud when that happens? No. Will I hold myself accountable for what was said? Yes.

      It’s been a tough road so far and could continue to be until we are both have moved out.

      • everevie Says:

        Fine! I take it all back!! Lol.

        Just kidding, of course. 😉 Everyone is allowed to be pissed off/hurt/frustrated/mean from time to time…especially during a break up. It’s natura

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