43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Maybe I’ll Take A Nap…….In Las Vegas July 31, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:12 pm

Yes, that’s right.  My patheticness (is that even a word?) has reached an all time high.  I got to go to Vegas for a couple days with my Doppelganger and I actually opted to lay in bed for most of yesterday, read and watch the Olympics on tv.  Uhm, what the hell has happened to me?  Granted, it was 175 degrees outside, so although I attempted to lay by the pool (for all of about 15 minutes) it was just too damn hot.  I did manage to roll out of bed long enough for our mutually ridiculous idea of doing a Vegas Buffet for dinner and then proceeded to stuff myself so much that I couldn’t even drink after that!  Shit!  Needless to say, I gambled a bit and then yup, back to bed for me.  I am pretty sure I was the equivalent of a wet blanket.  Or a human bump on a log.  I was boring and sad and couldn’t find one decent guy that I wanted to kiss.  We did manage to polish off an entire bottle of vodka in 2 days though.  Thought that was fairly impressive. 🙂

I’m still in some sort of a weird funk regarding you know who.  I SO want to be able to be friends with him.  I SO want to not want anything more.  I SO want to be able to hang out with he and the kids and have fun.  I do not, for the life of me, know why I can’t figure this out.  It’s fairly easy for me to drop people from my life (shitty but true).  They usually do something nasty or bad or mean or hateful so it’s kinda easy and I rarely look back.  TD isn’t mean or hateful.  He just operated under the impression that I agreed we were strictly friends with huge boundary issues.  He was under this impression because I spent a lot of time convincing him of it.  Too bad I forgot to convince myself.  It’s so shitty.  Great friends come along very rarely.  Especially when you’re an old fart.  I mean it’s not like I can plop down at the lunch table in the cafeteria and ask the person next to me if they want to trade their bologna sandwich for a ho-ho.  I assume I can do that once I get checked into the old age home (just me and my 47 cats), but for now, it’s kinda tough.  He’s a good friend.  He’s a stupid friend, but a good one.  I haven’t spoken/texted/seen/e-mailed/anything with him since the fiasco that was last Tuesday.  That’s kind of a record for me.  And it sucks.

I swear I dealt with this better when we were at least texting a little.  I don’t know what that is.  Don’t worry, I will continue to talk myself out of any form of contact with him.  Today, at least. 😉

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6 Responses to “Maybe I’ll Take A Nap…….In Las Vegas”

  1. tripletall180mochagirl Says:

    All I can say is don’t cave. As I told you before, I am going thru something that mirrors your situation…scary how parallel. I went NINE days with no contact and then dumb me sends a text about his son’s baseball game. I could kick myself! He replied, but it was just basically what his son had done in the game. Of course I send another text only to be rejected AGAIN with no reply. Everytime I initiate a text or contact I am setting myself up for rejection. I hate how that feels, so why do I do it? (It’s that hope that somehow he has changed his mind and will be happy to hear from me) NOT! If he wanted to be with me, he would! So my advice is don’t give him the opportunity to reject you – don’t contact him no matter how hard it is! They love the attention even when they don’t want us! Don’t give him any! The longer you go the easier it gets. Unfortunately for me I had to start my 12 step program over again and I’ve only been clean (textfree) for 1 day!

    • Baby steps, TripleTall! It sucks to have to start the steps over, but each time it will get easier. Let’s have a contest and see who can go the longest 😉

      • tripletall180mochagirl Says:

        Well you win because I talked thru text last night again about his son’s baseball tournament, although he initiated the conversation this time. He knew I had went to games the previous night (a friend of mine son was playing, not his son) and he wanted to know if I knew the score because his son’s team was playing the winner of the game he asked about. He text me throughout the game and was very cordial; even sent me a text when he got home at 1:11 a.m. to let me know he was home. I had said be careful at 10:30 p.m. because it’s about 1 1/2 hour drive. They went to Waffle House with the team after so that’s why he was so late (he made sure to tell me). He knows how much I miss all that, so it was like rubbing salt in the still open huge gaping hole he left in my heart. Anyways, I heard my phone beep but I didn’t get up to see who it was because I was sleeping (until it beeped). I really didn’t think it was him. So when I read it this morning I was actually surprised he bothered to let me know he made it home safely. I sent him a text this morning and said “Glad you made it home.” No reply of course.
        I haven’t seen him in a month and Friday we will both be at the ball field. My friend’s son plays at 6:30 and his son plays at 8:30. I know I will see him because they will have to be there an hour before their game (coach’s rule). If he brings the “other person” I think I will puke. I guess she wasn’t with him last night because he was steady texting me the whole game. Part of me says don’t go, but the other part says don’t let him rule your life and do what you would do if he wasn’t a factor. Well, I would go normally, so I am going. Now here’s the clincher. If both of us win ours games, we play each other in the championship on Saturday night. If we both lose, we play each other in consolation game on Saturday. Well I am sure I will need to be consoled if he brings her, so either way it will be a consolation game for me.

        • Whether you see him or not, just do what you normally would and try your best not to concentrate on him. I failed miserably at the very sound advice I got to pretty much ignore TD when I saw him at a single’s event. Since you will be with friends though, as hard as it will be, try not to give anything more than a cordial smile and then go about your business of ignoring him 🙂

  2. everevie Says:

    Girl…you did exactly what you wanted and needed to do in Vegas. That’s what vacations are for.

    You have been straight beating yourself over the head for every thing you do…including how you vacay. Give yourself a break my friend!! You are so frickin incredible…and it’s about time you remember that.

    Ya got it?


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