The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Timing Is Everything……. August 2, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:48 am
Tags: , ,

Not for me, you sillies, we all know I have the world’s worst timing.  For just about everything.  Matthew, however, seems to be a bit more blessed as the universe seems to have stepped in and helped him out when he needed it.  Too bad the universe kinda prefers to keep rubbing salt in the wound for me, but apparently Matthew was born under some sort of a lucky star …………..

A Story About How Some Things Just End …. Written by Matthew:

It only makes sense to tell the story of the demise of my latest relationship. I should tell you now that certain things will be intentionally left out. Some things are personal and they are meant to be remain that way. Regardless of the current status between the Ex and I, I still respect her privacy and the fact that what happens between two people remains between those two people. I treat my friends the very same way. If they tell me something in confidence that information will never leave my ears. When you’re in a relationship beyond that of your common friendship there are things that are confidential without the need to ask for it.

Like any relationship we had our drama. We had our arguments. But we also had many great moments. Times of laughter, of compassion, of love. Sadly those good times began to decrease in frequency and the bad times increased. I’m not absolutely sure when I began having my doubts about our future because once a thought like that entered my mind I would push it back and make myself believe that I was simply overreacting.
A few weeks after those thoughts began breaking down the protective barriers I had put up, the shit really hit the fan. This is a particular moment in the story where the details will be left to remain a mystery. I will simply say that things got bad. Very bad. Out of any argument, or bad situation, we had ever had; when this one “ended” the idea of us ever coming back from it was a completely foreign concept. But that didn’t stop me from remaining optimistic. Somehow I felt it was still worth waiting out. There were some external variables that I believed may have been influencing things. I’m a fighter, not in the literal sense of physical violence but in fighting for something even when all hope seems lost. *something I often refer to as a “Superhero Complex”*
I told myself wait it out. In time things will get better and all of those good times will return. But with every day that passed I began to doubt even my own words.
Days turned into a couple of weeks and distance was the closest things between us. Even when sleeping in the same bed I felt like we were miles apart. The woman I had fallen in love with was fading and I needed to begin to realize that she wasn’t coming back. The doubts I had been having were beginning to make sense, yet I didn’t have it in me to vocalize them. She was still going through a LOT and adding a break-up to it just didn’t seem…right.
About two weeks before the break up I could see the end looming. Things had changed. In my gut I knew something was wrong and it was building towards an end. Fortunately, around that same time new and old friends began to come out of the woodwork.
My oldest friend (since 3rd grade) was in my city for the week during the 4th of July. He and I spent a lot of time hanging out that week. Around the time he left I got a text from one of my old roommates from Los Angeles, who is basically like a sister to me. She was on a road trip with a friend of hers. They were only 8 hours from the city and planned on sticking around for a couple of days before proceeding to their next destination. We had a couple of days to catch up and hang out as it had been 3 years since we had last seen each other.
That same weekend I was introduced to a group of people through a new friend of mine from work. Let me say they are my type of people. Fortunately, I’m their type of people too and I’ve had no problem blending in with their already stellar dynamic.
This work friend and I were driving to a group gathering where we planned on grilling and taking in a horror flick. Well, the grilling happened but we actually ended up watching episodes of the old She-Ra cartoon on Netflix (yes, 30-somethings watching She-Ra). Don’t worry, we were adding our own commentary while enjoy some beverages of the alcoholic persuasion. But rewind a bit, on the drive there I told me friend that I had a gut feeling that the Ex was going to break up with me. I just felt it. It would only be a matter of when she would do it.
He was amazingly optimistic, a role I usually get cast in. He tried comforting me by saying I was looking into things too much. Though everything he said made sense I had to keep to telling him that rationality could not supersede what I felt on the inside.
Sure enough the very next day, after getting home from having some wings and beer with the very same friend, she sat me down and said, “I have something I need to tell you.”

5 Responses to “Timing Is Everything…….”

  1. Are you planning to date Matthew?? . . . jeez louise, who sends that type of an email in the “get to know you” stage? While I’m not recommending you stay away from him because who the hell cares what I think — I do believe any time spent with him would be ideal blog fodder. Just sayin. . . good grief. I think I’m too bitter. . . . and cranky.

    • Haha PDX, Matthew guest blogs on here so this is his post regarding what’s going on in his world. I’m not at my homee computer so can’t link back, but I’ll make it more clear in the future. He will be blogging about his internet dating escapades on here 🙂

    • Matthew Says:

      PDX – I think I would be the WORST online dater ever if I sent that out as a ‘getting to know you’. But now that you mention it, I am almost tempted to try something along those lines just to see what type of response I would get (thought most likely be in the form of NOT getting a response.) Sorry for scaring you.

  2. […] another great guest blog post by Matthew! Where we last left off (before some of living situation drama) the Ex had sat me down and said, “I have something I […]

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