43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

You’re Going To Need A Lot of Windex…… August 10, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:51 am

Ever know those people who live in glass houses?  The ones that think they know ‘the right’ way to do everything and think their way is better than yours?  The ones that don’t realize that not everyone thinks the same and what works for one person doesn’t work for another?  The ones who never really understood the concept of ‘walking in someone else’s shoes’ as theirs were always apparently prettier/better fitted/nicer than anyone else’s?  The ones who hypocritically tell you what you should (and shouldn’t) do and then turn around and do the same things themselves?  Well, I don’t.  😉 Unless we’re talking about my family, and then hell yeah I do!

So I believe I need to update you two on a few things.  I still have odd businessman wanting to meet me for coffee when he gets back to town.  Uh, yey?  I still have The Controller wanting to take me to dinner.  I think.  We both keep postponing it, so obviously neither of us is all that excited about seeing the other.  I had some ‘rocket scientist’ from E-Horror that I was texting with the other night and I’m pretty sure he is a big perv, but since he’s a rocket scientist, he was smart enough to not be overt about it.  After several very entertaining texts, I fibbed and said I was out with friends but told him he was welcome to chat with my voicemail when he said he wanted to call me right then.  End of story.  He apparently immediately went onto E-Harmony and ‘closed’ me which means I wouldn’t be able to contact him via the website anymore.  Really no big deal nor was it a necessary thing to do.  As I decided that no pervy OLDer guy was allowed to close me 1st, I opted to send him a text.  Have a seat as I now present possibly the 2 most immature people on the planet. 🙂

Me: Nice of you to up and close me.  I appreciate it.  Guessing you’re either not serious about any of this or just don’t get sarcasm……in either case, best of luck to you in your search. (That last part is the polite way to end things just for future reference)

Him: Hey! No harm, no foul.  Eharm to (yes, misspelled) hard to get in and out of ….. since i have your phone number ….. I didn’t intend to communicate through that medium.  Closing EH just means we won’t communicate that way.  It’s not a divorce.  Just moving to a different medium.

Him again after I didn’t respond: I get 10-15 matches per day….and when I find somebody i want to get to know i shut EH down until I’m booted or done with a match at stage 5

Okay, now aside from the fact that this rocket scientists finds it much too difficult to log on and off the apparently highly complicated website which complete idiots with shirtless pics of themselves holding dead animals can figure out, there’s NO WAY IN HELL that he’s getting 10-15 matches a day.  Unless he has his match criteria set to women between the ages of 12-152 and must live within a 3,000 mile radius.  Kinda too bad as he has homes in my town, Virginia and South Carolina.  And, btw, don’t they teach rocket scientists grammar?

So what does this stilted and nonsensical post mean?  It means I have no desire to meet with/see again/go out with anyone that I’m not excited about.  Period.



5 Responses to “You’re Going To Need A Lot of Windex……”

  1. everevie Says:

    When I had e-smarm I was averaging between 15-20 matches a day. If I missed a few days of archiving, I’d log-in to an hour’s worth of work, just to plow through all the people I didn’t want to talk to anymore.

    I completely understand what he’s trying to say…and I believe him.

    However, if you aren’t interested anyway, then there’s no point in talking to him!!

    Oh…and I know all about hypocrites. Like, the kind who wanna tell you to de-friend your ex on FB in the same breath that they tell you about how their own FB ex-stalking is coming along. LOL!!

    • For the last time, you are not permitted to defend guys that I have pre-judged and already deemed douchebags! 😉 Now, although I totally get the ‘archiving’ thing and do it myself as my inbox gets full of could be nothings (hee hee, I said ‘inbox’), that’s different from ‘closing’ a match. You don’t get notified if you are archived and once you communicate with someone you are removed from their home page anyway. You are notified, via a nice red ‘dickhead closed you’ message, however if someone opts to ‘close’ you.

      And did I mention he was 54 and not all that attractive?

  2. Matthew Says:

    Good! Why waste time meeting with someone if you’ll only end being there when you don’t want to. It’ll reflect in the meeting and the night will be horrible and then you’ll get in a bar fight, flee from the police and make a made run for Mexico after stealing a Panda from the zoo.

    And we all know Pandas are just too expensive to feed.

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