43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

How I Spent My Summer Vacation……..On A Cruise…..With Isaac September 1, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:54 pm

After figuring out, the morning of my trip, that I only had a 31 minute connection in Houston, I started trying to figure out exactly how many ways I could wear the same dress that I had shoved in my purse last minute for when my suitcase didn’t make it aboard the ship.  The bag, btw, that was stuffed with 10 dress options for only 5 nights on board.  All my worry was for naught however when my bag greeted me in New Orleans.  Yey me!  I proceeded to the pier and was met by a very nice porter who not only grabbed my bag for me and managed to get me in the VIP check in line, but even stuck a big ole’ ‘priority’ tag on my suitcase.  Way to make me feel special, right?  Unfortunately ‘priority’ apparently meant ‘deliver bag to cabin last and make passenger worry that she’s sailing away while her priority tagged bag is still sitting on the pier.’

The bag made it though.  Along with all my great dresses.  Of which I wore an amazing orange one shoulder asymmetric one to dinner that night.  And overdressed everyone by a mile.  Whoopsie.  Sorry, but I like to ‘dress’ for dinner when I’m on a cruise.  I met several nice couples that for some reason (which I won’t argue) all bought me drinks.  Maybe they felt sorry for me for being alone, maybe they just liked me.  Who am I to look a gift drink in the mouth? Met lots of nice people on board but alas, there was a shortage of attractive single guys.  Damn.  And aside from the single guy assigned to my dinner table (who was neither attractive, nor tall, and kind of resembled the blueberry girl on Willy Wonka) I mainly talked to couples.  And didn’t really find anyone that I enjoyed spending time with (male, female, whatever) enough to hang out with.  Oh well, I guess It’s just me, my book and my deck chair.  Oh, and my cocktail.

So I was happily sailing about the Gulf of Mexico until I met someone on the 3rd day.  Okay, I guess ‘something’ would be more accurate.  And this thing would turn my nice relaxing vacation upside down.  His name was Isaac.  And he sucked.  He made the waters really rough and made all the ports shut down so we had no clue where (or when) we were getting back to land.  Captain dumbass (not his real name, btw, just a little nickname I assigned to him for good reason) told us that instead of docking back in New Orleans on Thursday as scheduled, we would be docking ‘sometime’ on Friday in Mobile.  Hmmm, I don’t think the Mobil, AL airport will  look kindly upon my ticket booked from New Orleans.  So we all switch our flights from NO to Mobile.  And if you’ve ever tried to make a call from a cruise ship, you know it takes about 2 hours to get a line out.  If you’re lucky.  So flights get changed, sea-sick meds are passed around and all is right with the world again.  Until the captain decides that maybe we won’t be docking in Mobile after all and he’ll let us know the next day.  WTF??

Anyway, instead of boring you with all the retarded details, I will give you a quick rundown of the next 2 days:  New Orleans port closed, going to Mobile, oh whoopsie, Mobile port closed, just sail around aimlessly for a day, okay, back to New Orleans to dock at 6pm on Friday, oh wait, no, we’re going to dock in Mobile at 3pm.  We ended up docking in New Orleans at 2pm on Friday.  And all got to play an awesome game called ‘try to change your airline tickets yet again without incurring a fat change fee or having to spend the night in the airport’.  Now, while I’d normally be all for extra days at sea, I kinda had something important scheduled for Friday morning.  Which I missed.  Crap.

Yeah, vacation wasn’t all that fun after all.  And I got home at 8am this morning only to find out that my a/c at home is broken.  And it’s 108 today!  Who the hell knew that my vacation would turn into a fiasco just like my dating life? 😉


4 Responses to “How I Spent My Summer Vacation……..On A Cruise…..With Isaac”

  1. 1smiles Says:

    Thank goodness you don’t lead one of those really boring lives. 🙂

  2. Clicking Frogs Says:

    Isaac te bartender would have been much better!

  3. Matthew Says:

    No words GG. None at all. Well, other than glad to have you back.

  4. Serena Says:

    Good to have you back GG, and I became familiar with Isaac too last week, being from Pensacola, FL and all 😉 He happily breezed by us with not much more than a few rainshowers and tropical storm winds, but it seems he threw your cruise into turmoil. No blame for the captain though, the local new stations didn’t know if Isaac was coming or going to here or New Orleans until he was actually there, lol! Gotta love The Weather Channel! Sounds like you had an interesting time, and it makes for good blogging anyway! 🙂

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