43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Hooked on Phonics September 9, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:47 am
Tags: , , , ,

It’s all in the way you say it, right?  Who cares if it’s mis-spelled (or mis-spelt as so many people online like to write).  As long as it sounds right (wright) it doesn’t matter.  Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to online date is well aware of the confusion regarding your and you’re.  Between woman and women.  Between there, their and they’re.  All interchangeable, right?  Wrong.  It does matter how you spell it.  It does matter how you write it.  It does matter how you say it.

Unless, of course, we’re talking about the names of the unfortunate souls that I deem worthy of wasting their time and money on me.  Haha, that almost sounded conceited!  I’m SO NOT.  I’ve met up with Dougs and Mikes and Toms and Johns and Gregs and Pauls in my distinguished (and hugely sad) dating past.  I’ll be honest here (hear).  While I am amazing at recognizing faces and rarely forget one, I suck at names.  I just do.  It’s one of the measuring sticks I use to gauge interest in someone.  For the life of me, I will never remember a guy’s name if I’m not interested.  Shallow?  Yup.  Bitchy?  Probably.  I figure my head is so full of the 150+ guys I’ve met in the past 3 years that my subconscious is just helping me out by filtering the ones that I won’t have need for in the future (unless I’m trying to figure out who the 4 ‘Mike – Match’ people are that are in my phone).  Hell, I’ve even been known to call someone the wrong name via e mail.  And more than once.  Yeah, I know, I’m a peach.

I’ve decided I’m only going to date men that have the same name thus reducing any awkwardness for me and them when I accidentally call them the wrong name or have to resort to calling everyone ‘sweetie’ in order to cover my early onset senility.  There is a nice man from E-Harm that was lucky enough to have the same name as TD, just spelled differently, that wants to meet me.  Lucky him.  Not that I anticipate yelling out any names in the throws of passion anytime soon, but just in case it’s good to know that I’ll be covered.  Oh whoopsie, did I forget to mention that I have a date on Tuesday?  Well I do.  Not with the one that I wanted to meet from Match that just sorta opted to stop communicating with me.  This one is from E-Harm.  And claims to be 6′ tall (which translates to 5’10”).  And will be my first ever Jewish date.  Odd for a 5’10” woman, who was born Jewish, to never actually have ever dated one.  Well not if you consider the fact that my experience has led me to believe that they’re all short, nappy haired momma’s boys.  Or at least they are around here (hear).  He’s kinda funny via text though.  And thinks I’m flippin’ hysterical.  And keeps telling me that.  Meh, I could do with a few compliments lately.  Poor thing.  Wish him me luck!


12 Responses to “Hooked on Phonics”

  1. everevie Says:

    Yay! A date! Even if it is with someone you aren’t super excited about. Who knows…maybe he really IS 6′ tall. And what’s better than a man who appreciates your highly honed sense of humor?

    • That’s okay Evie ’cause it is a date and even if he is shorter than he claimed, thanks to 24 hour food on board, I’m probably 10 lbs heavier than in my pics ….. luckily since I’m tall, he may not notice 😦

  2. SillyG Says:

    haha! I used to keep a piece of paper beside my comp with online connections real names! I’m pretty sure I went on a couple dates where I had no clue what the guys name was but was too embarrassed to ask.
    Have fun!

  3. Janet in Philly Says:

    GG: No snark intended – really! But the word is throes. Occupational hazard of being a librarian, I suppose.

    “A dying person’s final agony can be called “death throes.” The only other common use for this word is “throes of passion.” Throws are wrestling moves or those little blankets you drape on the furniture. “”

    Good luck with the date. (I’m just jealous, ’cause eHarm is really slim pickings lately..)

  4. I’m bad with names too. When I first meet someone, I usually try to slide it in the conversation. Then if I ever mess up a name or forget one, the person remembers our first conversation and says, “Well you did tell me you were bad with names the first time we met.” 🙂

  5. “have to resort to calling everyone ‘sweetie’ in order to cover my early onset senility….” Oh I hear you there sister, been there and DONE that 🙂 Bhahahahah…good for a chuckle though 🙂

  6. Matthew Says:

    Over the weekend a friend of mine was telling me about a guy she was seeing who quickly (very quickly) began calling her by a ‘pet name’. Their time together didn’t last long and he began seeing another girl pretty quick. I had to tell her, odds are he was seeing her at the same time too…and the pet name was used so we wouldn’t accidentally call you (or her) by the wrong name.


    I don’t know why, but for some reason all I can imagine your date tonight being like is a scene from a Woody Allen movie.

    • oh geez Matthew. Thanks for putting that in my head!

      Your friends’ guy sounds like a douche, so glad that didn’t last long. Pet names are creepy right off the bat…….. unless of course, it’s me doing it 😉

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