43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures September 10, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:16 am
Tags: , , ,

There are very few of you (I think 4, to be exact) that have actually been able to peek behind the iron curtain that is my half assed anonymity on here and are FB (aka: root of all evil) friends of mine.  For those of you that are, you’re probably scratching your respective heads and thinking WTF?  There are some curious pictures of me lately.  Me and some very special friends.  Me and some very special friends that I didn’t think I’d be able to see any more.  Very special friends that I needed when I found out some scary news.  One friend in particular has been pretty darn great.  And I don’t want to hear it from anyone.  I have some medical stuff going on that is kinda scary.  As my family sucks, I needed to be able to figure out who I know that would drop everything in their life at the drop of a hat to help me.  To hold my hand, to support me, to encourage me and to be there for me.  I only came up with one.  And for all of his bazillion other faults, he’s been amazing.  He’s gone to appointments with me, he’s taken care of me when I wasn’t feeling well, he’s helped me schedule things, he’s taken care of my doggies when I couldn’t, he’s pretty much reorganized his life to fit around when I need him.

I need someone to help me and help take care of me.  Sorry, that’s not an easy thing for me to admit, but I do.  And he’s there for me.  I have no visions of grandeur.  He was a sucky relationship prospect, but is a pretty amazing friend.  No, I don’t need to justify anything to anyone on here and my close friends already know what’s been going on, but I figured I’d offer myself up to be judged (again) by one and all.  I’ve seen him.  I’ve spent time with his kids.  Both of which make me very happy.  I’m dating.  He’s dating.  We’re just not dating each other.  I’m looking elsewhere for a man who not only is there to take care of me when I need him, but that also wants to be with me as more than a friend.  Having TD back in the picture (yes, again) will not alter this.

I will come out of my medical crap okay but it’s kinda highlighted the fact that life is just too fucking short to not be around people who make you happy.  Sure, he’s made me VERY unhappy in the past and although I don’t like hearing about his dates and potential relationships, he is a very good friend to me.  And he’s just about the only person in the world that I know that would give up so much just so he could be there for me when I need him to be.  So to those of you that are my FB friends and just saw all the fun pictures of all of us at the lake today (yes, that’s me on the tube behind the boat in between 2 itty bitty teenagers), please note my great big smile.  It’s not even a delusional one.  It’s genuine.  It’s one that’s thankful that I’m lucky enough to have someone who invites me along on fun days like today and is there for me on not so fun days as well.

For all the shitty things that I’ve written about you, deservedly and undeservedly so, thank you TD, for being there for me when I really needed you.  Not that he’ll ever read this, but just so you all know, it was more than a month after I had told him to leave me alone and not contact me again that I texted that I was nervous about something going on and needed his help.  He called me in 2 seconds flat and literally rearranged everything for me ……… there is no ‘funny business’ going on.   The lines are drawn.  That door has closed.  He slept with TVCW and that was that.  I won’t go down that road again.  I will keep him close until my medical nonsense is done with and then we’ll see how I feel.  Until that time, yes, he’s back.  Not in nearly as big a way as before, but he is.  And he’ll never know how much I appreciate all that he’s done for me over the past few weeks.  Never……


10 Responses to “Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures”

  1. everevie Says:

    I haven’t seen the pics yet…but I can’t wait to. 🙂 And you know in a hundred years I wouldn’t judge you over your choices…it’s your life and you know best how to handle it.

  2. ifUseekAmy Says:

    No judgment! Just want to say that it’s really great to see that smile on your face.

  3. Really great friends are hard to come by no matter the circumstances. I’m glad he is that for you. You certainly deserve a genuine smile of happiness. Wishing you the best!

    • Thanks PDX. He even took me to the airport at 3am when I was stupid enough to book a 5am flight ….. I don’t think ANY of my other friends would have done that for me.

      I need to stop obsessing over long term and just enjoy right now …… 🙂

  4. 1smiles Says:

    I’m glad that TD is that reliable loving friend. Life has it’s course and he’s there with you… loving you in the way that he can. And that’s a wonderful gift.
    Hugs to you.. hope you’re well soon.

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