The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

What A Sucky Date September 11, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:29 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Funny thing is I was the sucky one!  I was looking forward to meeting the guy from E-Harm that had a really funny sense of humor via text and telephone and had hoped that I’d be attracted to him in person.  We all know what a picky bitch I can be in that regard but honestly, my taste is so all over the place that I never know what I’m going to be attracted to.  Unfortunately it wasn’t this guy.  We’d been exchanging funny texts all day and as he was walking across the parking lot to meet me at the place that he had selected he looked good.  Probably because I’m nearsighted. 😦 As he got closer I could tell that there was going to be an issue.  Or 20.  Damn it.  I just wasn’t attracted to him.  In the least.  As we’d had such good interactions though, I figured I’d give it a chance and hoped that something would click for me.  What I noticed myself doing though, during our conversations I would select a response to his questions that would be in direct opposition to what he liked.  Need clarification?  Here are a few that I remember:

Him:  I’m a huge redsox fan  Me:  That’s baseball, right?

Him:  I love camping  Me:  Uhm, I don’t do that

Him:  I’m very close to my family  Me: I’m not.  Actually, I don’t even like them very much

Get it?  Now while all statements that I made were true, I made them a bit more harsh and unwavering than I could have.  Sure, I don’t watch baseball, but I would be more than happy to with the right guy.  Camping?  No, not my favorite activity, but again with the right person of course I would go!  Family?  Well, there’s really no way to soften that but I sure as hell would have bypassed the question right up front.  All of my negative behaviours and statements were made with the sole intention of having him not be interested in me.  I was boring and negative and I actually kind of started to annoy myself.  I’m good at doing this.  I don’t like to be the one to say ‘no’.  Sometimes I have to.  Tonight; not so much.  I think I was mid statement about how much I hate Olive Garden when he totally interrupted me and said

“sorry, I’m just not feeling this”

WTF?  Yes I wanted him to not be interested but damn if that didn’t actually make me feel like shit to hear.  No, I wasn’t attracted to him.  Yes, I was trying my hardest to make him not like me.  Damn if I’m not upset that he didn’t ‘fight’ for me.  I’m a mess.  How on earth can I not be interested in someone (in the least) yet still get my feelings hurt that he actually said he wasn’t interested.  Oh well.  It is what it is, so at least one of us said it.  Too bad he went on to state ‘gee, you were so funny over text’.  Uhm, yeah dipshit, I turned that part off when I decided that I had no interest in ever kissing you!

What is wrong with a world where guys I’m not even interested in choose to beat me to the punch?  😡


9 Responses to “What A Sucky Date”

  1. Emilie Says:

    well at lest you both felt somewhat the same!! I know I have been a bit absent on my blog and on the comment box section here!

  2. SillyG Says:

    Ha! Yes rejection feels so much better when it’s delivered passive aggressively 😀
    You know, I have never been to an olive garden.

    • singlewhitefemaledating Says:

      It certainly builds expectations when you have a rapport with them over the phone (or possibly via text?) Then you meet and there is absolutely no chemistry…. I have had this happen many times. That’s why I like to meet them without too much emotional investment and only for a coffee (so you can escape quickly) 😀

      • Yes it does Silly. I’m a weirdo and I guess I feel better about not liking them if I can make them not like me. *shrug*

        It does SWFD, and I try not to communicate too much with someone without meeting them first. I just figured I’d try to change up my approach a little …. guess it wasn’t a good idea……

  3. Just as an FYI in case this comes up again with someone else, the correct answers are as follows…

    Him: I’m a huge redsox fan
    You: I think that’s baseball. I’ve never been, but I’d try it with someone I liked.

    Him: I love camping
    You: And I hope you continue to have fun doing that…with your friends. I personally will Skype with you from my hotel room. While sipping my lemon drop martini. It’s lucky we don’t have to be compatible in every way!

    Him: I’m very close to my family
    You: I’m not; I don’t them know your family at all. But they sound nice. Would they like me?


    Bring a cheat sheet if necessary.. 🙂

  4. Dan Says:

    There is nothing wrong with this world….

    You happened to run into a man who knew what he wanted, and wasnt going to waste anyones time. I applaud him for speaking his mind.

    Perhaps your “pickiness” is a defense mechanism, Maybe you are skipping over great guys that you know you might like, maybe you are picking guys that you know you can control and have the upper hand with and this guy suprised you? There are lots of nice looking, good men out there. We might even mispell, use poor grammar or wear khaki shorts. My circle of friends contain a wide variety of looks and personalities and we have all been single at on point or another over the past ten years. All of them probably would have kindly and respecfully terminated a date like yours early.

    How can you get excited and bring “it” to a date, if your still hung up on past love or otherwise emotionally unavailable, if a guy doesnt excite you from the start should you even waste his or your time. While being exceptionally picky might make a for a good blog, and interesting reading. it probably wont make for a good dating life. Nothing wrong with being selective and knowing what you want, and not settling, but are you really coming at this from the right place?

    • Hi Dan. Hmmm, I know you’ve been reading, but are you actually ‘getting’ what I write? I AM emotionally available. I DO want to find a great guy. I am NOT ‘exceptionally picky’. I don’t care if anyone can spell properly and don’t actually give grammar tests on dates. The fact of the matter is that there is NO way around a lack of physical attraction. We probably didn’t have enough in common to begin with and I should have been the one to put a stop to the date as he seemed to like me before I started my ‘routine’ to get him not to. You know from reading back that I have no desire to be able to ‘control’ anyone; especially the men in my life. I DO have to be attracted to them and I wasn’t with this guy. I don’t think I was wasting his time ……..

      And I happen to be a fan of khaki shorts. Pretty sure you know I’m not quite as superficial as I claim to be………

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