* enjoy another great guest blog post by Matthew (you know, the one that has good luck in dating* 🙂
Good day from Los Angeles, California! The city of angels! It’s been a long time, has it not? So much has gone on since I last wrote so let me try to summarize things as best I can. (Trust me when I say summarizing is not one of my strong suits.)
First there was Red (the girl I met through a friend of mine). As of right now it would appear that are only going to be friends. Things got “weird” after a while and I’m not quite sure where to point blame. You see, from my perspective it looked like she was pulling away when it came to any signs of there being anything beyond a friendship. At the same time, most of the times we would see each other were arranged like one would make plans with a good friend. I tried taking her out on an actual date, making sure she understood I was looking at it as a date, and things just felt different.
Considering all of that, as of right now I can really only see a friendship with her right now. Could that change in the future? Sure. Maybe. She is attractive, easy to get along with, fun to be with, incredibly talented; any guy would be lucky to be with her.
But now there’s also the girl I briefly mentioned posts ago who I met via OkCupid. For the sake of continuity on this particular blog I’m going to call her DS. She and I did eventually end up meeting for coffee and sat there for 3 hours talking. A couple of weeks later we ended up going to a free art gallery event my city has at the beginning of every month. That particular date lasted about 10 hours, wrapping up at 4:30am. We made plans for that following Wednesday where she came over to my apartment and I made her dinner (bacon wrapped pork chops and baked sweet potatoes with green pepper and tomato). The rest of that evening we sat in the apartment and talked until a decent time to call it a night. The following day we were texting and I told her I really wanted to see her one more time before leaving for my trip (by then it was only a day away). She ended up coming over that night and didn’t leave until close to 3am.
Clearly I really like her. DS and I click on so many levels, many similar levels to Red but with one major difference. DS and I have, without any doubt, chemistry. She and I have been texting every day since I left for my trip, and even the last four nights we’ve spoken on the phone before she goes to bed (since I’m currently 2 hours behind her).
Don’t go thinking all is 100% hunky-dory in Matthewland. What would life be if there weren’t a minor hurdle? I call this a minor hurdle for obvious reasons which you’ll see as you read on.
Yesterday we essentially briefly had that discussion regarding seeing other people right now. For now, she is seeing other guys. That makes sense. We’ve technically only had 4 dates. We’ve only known each other for 2 months (if you start from when I sent her that first e-mail). Whatever we have right now is really young. It still needs necessary time to grow. I get that. She also needs time to be ‘single’ for reasons of her own which I am not going to divulge here.
Here’s the thing with me. I’m not much of a casual dater. If I’m interested in someone they, more-or-less, have 100% of my attention. I told her this. I told her I’ve never really been good at seeing more than one woman at a time so I probably wouldn’t be seeing anyone else while we’re dating. Trust me here people when I say I wish I could be more of a casual dater…but I’m not. I recently wrote an article on my blog about recognizing a good thing when it’s in front of you. Right now, she is that good thing. I recognize that.
I know she likes me. I mean, really likes me. If she didn’t we wouldn’t be texting every day. We wouldn’t talk every night just before she goes to sleep. I’m grateful she was up front and honest with me regarding seeing other guys. It sucks a little bit, but it also gives me reason to make sure I stand out above the rest of them.
I’m going to keep on doing what I’m doing, and hopefully (sooner than later) she’ll realize seeing any other guys is a waste of time. I don’t have to “step up” my “game” because how I pursue a relationship isn’t any different whether I’m the only guy she’s seeing or if I’m one of many.
But please don’t think I’m throwing all of my eggs in a basket that may not even be mine. While I may not be actively looking to date other women and DS and I are dating, it doesn’t mean that I’ll be waiting around for her to make up her mind either. If I happen to meet another woman during this situation I’m not going to necessarily turn my head at the opportunity.
This simply means that, through my eyes right now, I hope DS figures out everything she needs to before live intervenes and introduces someone else into my life.