But I’m sure this comes as a newsflash to no one. I swear, I know the ‘rules’ and not to be too anxious. I know to NEVER get excited about anyone ahead of time. I know to just sit back and let things happen. I guess the control freak, insecure dumbass in me takes over sometimes. As will also come as no big surprise …… I put my profiles back up. Sitting on my couch feeling sorry for myself didn’t seem to lure the hot single guys in, so I guess it’s back to the cesspool. Sure, I may never find my ‘Mr Right’ (hell, I’d settle for a Mr. Kinda-Okay at this point) online, but if I stop looking or trying, I am guaranteed to fail, so I may as well give it my best shot. I also read somewhere that guys are more
desperate open to finding new relationships around the holidays. Makes sense right? I mean who wants to be alone for them? I sure as hell don’t. Contrary to what the past 9 holidays seasons may lead you to believe.
Anyway, I have been getting a lot of winks and messages. There is one guy though, tall, cute as hell, seemingly very sweet and funny that I have struck up a little e-mail back and forth with. Lots to say, lots in common and we messaged back and forth for most of Friday and Saturday. His last message to me on Saturday was to ask if I wanted to meet up on Thursday (3 days from now). I responded back saying that I would love to meet up and for him to let me know what worked best for him regarding time and place. And just like that, because I allowed myself to get my hopes up; because I allowed the universe to know that I was finally, actually looking forward to meeting someone; because I had a really good feeling about him ……. I haven’t heard back. Awesome. And yes, he’s been online between then and now. How do I know? Because I’m lame. And a moron. And his blazing red ‘IM me now!’ moniker smacks me in the face whenever I go to my ‘who’s viewed me’ page. Yeah, I know, it’s only Monday, but that’s 2 days after I agreed to meet. Uh, shouldn’t he want to nail that shit down? As I don’t ‘IM me now!’ with anyone, I was at least good in not doing that.
Of course, instead of just letting things go and being confident that I would hear back from him, I opted to message him today. Yes, for those of you keeping track of my lack of game, that would be 2 consecutive messages from me. I was good though. I made it light and said I just wanted to check in and see how his trip to **** with his kids went on Sunday. Good, right? Not all that lame. Until I opted to add in ‘I’m really looking forward to meeting you. It’s so much better getting to know someone in person so that you can better judge chemistry’. Uhm, not so good. I already said I wanted to meet. He knows that. Nice of me to re-state that fact in case he sustained a head injury between Saturday and today and had forgotten.
I am absolutely aware than any number of things could have happened to prevent him from responding back. Frankenstorm. Work. Kids. Whatever. Had I not seen that he’d been online though, I might have believed any/all of these options ….
*Sigh*. One of these days I’ll get it right………
Oh, and Saturday date guy cancelled on me! Not that I remembered anything about him other than his name, but still …… he sent me a text Saturday morning with a lame excuse. Whatever ……
I have another guy messaging me that I fear I am going to have to break the news, sooner or later, to him that’s he’s actually gay and should be messaging men. Not me.