Some rules are important. Be they board game rules (you can’t just steal hotels in Monopoly, you need to buy them). Moralistic rules (it’s generally frowned upon to kick little old ladies in the shins and steal their oxygen tanks). Legal rules (it should probably be your own bank account that you try to withdraw funds from). Internet dating rules, however, are absolutely ridiculous. Not all of them, mind you. I still find that meeting someone for the 1st time in a dimly lit alley in a questionable part of town to be a really bad idea. Most of them, though, are just plain stupid. Like don’t contact a guy first. Like don’t go online or *gasp* respond to messages over the weekend. Like don’t respond to messages the same day. All of these were made up by some tool who probably never internet dated. I break every single one of these rules. Repeatedly.
I’ve contacted guys first. I’ve responded right away. I contact guys and respond to messages over the weekend. I’m 45 years old people. I don’t have time to play games. Why on earth would I want someone to think that I’ve got such a raging social calendar that I can’t find 2 minutes out of my day to be polite and respond to a message? While proponents of the ‘no weekend contact’ rule may have their reasons, I argue for the opposite. Do you really want someone to think that since you’re so flippin’ busy and can’t manage to respond to a message, but somehow you’ll be able to make time for them should it come to that? Uh, no.
I broke another rule this weekend as well. And he actually thanked me for it. My date from last Friday, who I know had a good time (’cause he told me he did and guys never lie 😉 ), hadn’t contacted me since Monday. So I sent a short text on Friday saying that I just wanted to check in and see how his week was and hoped that he had some fun plans for the weekend. He responded, right away, that he has been swamped with work, that he would love to get together again and then actually thanked me for reaching out to him. I know it’s a well documented fact that women will just assume that ‘he’s not that into you’ if you don’t hear back, but couldn’t guys suffer from the same worry? What if they’re waiting to see if we’re interested enough to contact them again? Now while I sort of agree with the whole ‘if he liked me, he’d contact me’ rule and by no means would I be okay with such stilted contact on a regular basis, I thought he was worth a 2nd date and I opted to break the rules and let him know that I was interested. We’ll see how that works for me……
So I’m apparently a big ole’ rule breaker. I run ‘searches’ on the weekend. I respond back to guys the same day. I initiate meetings. I contact them if I don’t hear from them. I fall in love with my best friend. Oh wait, definitely DON’T do that one. Sometimes it works to my benefit and sometimes it doesn’t. You just don’t know what works for you unless you try, right?
Now, as for my two dates yesterday ………….. I guess you’ll just have to wait to hear about them. 🙂 You’re welcome