43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Why I’m A Moron, Part 4,327 November 21, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:44 am
Tags: , , , , ,

So all two of you that must bang your heads into the nearest wall whenever you read those awesome initials TD are going to love this.  I haven’t written about him much as really, there’s not much to write that’s any different from before.  Aside from the fact that in spite of thinking he’s a delusional moron, I still consider him my best friend.  As he does me.  Anyway, we still hang out, just less than before.  He actually told me that he was pre-emptively cutting back our time together in preparation for when he wouldn’t be able to spend time with me.  What?  Yes, that’s how his emotionally retarded, engineering mind works.  He’s going to be an ass now, so it won’t come as such a shock when he does it later.  Okay…….

I just enjoy any time I can with he and his kids as I know it’s all coming to an end.  If he’s really interested in some woman who cancels on him left and right, is still in love with her cheating soon to be ex husband, and who sits in a closet in order to feel emotionally ‘safe’, then more power to him.  Them both really.  They may be perfect for each other.

The story I am about to tell won’t have a follow-up until next week because we all know that it’s absolutely going to require one.  Why, you ask?  Or not, too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway.  TD’s 50th birthday is on Monday.  He’s always said he never wants to be in town for his birthday so even though I knew there was a good possibility that he’d be in a relationship, I planned a trip.  For us.  Fully intending to hand it over to he and whoever should he be in a ‘relationship’ when the date hit.  As he and the closet dwelling lunch lady can’t possibly be in a ‘relationship’ as she only gives him about 2 hours face time a week, I figured I’d take him.  Stop yelling at me …… it’s his 50th and that deserves something special to be done for him.  Absolutely it’s something a wife or girlfriend should do for him, but as that’s not happening, I can’t let the date pass without doing something.  As the fates would have it though, his ex wife has thrown a wrench in the plans and booked her own trip leaving on his birthday.  Uhm, wtf?  So this means TD has the kids.  And my 3 day weekend away has turned into 1 night, having us return ON his actual birthday.  Shit.  Now what?!

I’ll have you know that although I do this for a living, I have never ever planned a party of my own.  Much less a surprise one.  Much less a surprise party for my non boyfriend.  Who doesn’t have a lot of friends.  And whose friends I have no clue how to get ahold of.  Good times.  So now I’m scrambling to throw together a party for him that I will have all of 2 hours to set up and try to surprise him with upon our return.  Any bets that I fuck it up?  Regardless of his flakey friends most likely not showing.  Regardless of being able to coordinate this all from out of town.  Regardless of trying to make this an actual surprise, I have to invite ‘her’.  Crap.  As it’s not my party though and he apparently likes this unattractive train wreck of a woman, then she needs to be invited.  I have no clue if she’ll show or not.  I also have no clue how I’m going to deal with this.  I won’t have any of my own friends there to support me and honestly, TD’s friends aren’t the ‘warm fuzzy’ type so I’m pretty much screwed.  I just hope I don’t start crying should he hang all over her or god forbid, kiss her in front of me………

I had a blog friend ask me what I hoped/expected from the evening.  I HOPE that TD is surprised.  That he realized that he has some good friends and has a good time.  What I EXPECT, I told her, is the same.  I hope it doesn’t tank.  I hope I don’t freak out.  And honestly, I hope I intimidate the hell out of the closet dwelling lunch lady …….. if she manages to leave her closet long enough to show up.

Well, I must run.  I have dinner plans.  With TD, of course.  You’re welcome for me making you all seem totally sane and rational and ‘together’ when it comes to guys! 😉  I may actually be the definition of a co-dependent idiot …….


8 Responses to “Why I’m A Moron, Part 4,327”

  1. The especially funny part about this post title, independent of any content, is that you managed to put “Party” instead of “Part”, which just might prove the title true! 🙂

  2. Citygirl Says:

    Oh GG, I hope it works out, although it sounds like a tortuous experience. Please invite a friend. I think you may need one for support!

  3. SillyG Says:

    …and she cringes as she hits ‘like’ 🙂

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