* While I’m still trying to figure out how to write about TD’s big non-surprise party, please enjoy another great guest post by Matthew*
Surprised to hear from me again? Curious where I’ve been the last couple of months? *Don’t worry, I wouldn’t be either.*.I suppose what happens is that when it comes to the exploits of finding dates, and going on the first date (or two), I have no problem documenting and sharing some of the details. However, once things have the potential to become something other than casual dating, or blog fodder, I want to respect said person and their privacy. They didn’t ask to be broadcast into the interwebs, so I just let it be..That being said, yes, for the last couple of months I was dating a woman I met on OkCupid. The only problem was that when we met she had already been dating another guy, that she met on the site about two months earlier. Upon meeting me, keeping things relatively casual, she continued dating the two of us..Long story short, things began to get more serious as time went by and eventually she had to make a choice. Unfortunately, I didn’t make the cut. I won’t disclose the reasons. I will say I believe she is making the wrong choice for all of the wrong reasons. *Because if she doesn’t want to be with me she obviously has abysmal taste in men :)*.Does the situation suck? Yes. Absolutely. She is a great woman. The potential for something great did exist. We had chemistry on various levels. It was all there…except the timing really..Should her endeavors with this other guy implode, only time will be able to tell if I’m still available. However I did make it a point to ask her if she was absolutely certain this was the decision she wanted to make; explaining that if if so…the door for us ever was shutting and we would never be more than just friends from this point on..So yes, we have decided to try and stay friends. I’ve made my peace with everything. Sure, there are times where things sting a little bit. Like last night I was logged into OkCupid and was deleting some old messages from women where the conversation went flat (stopped abruptly). It was then that I noticed the messages she and I had exchanged no longer had an image. She had either hidden, or removed, her profile. And it stung a little. There was a very small part of my mind that thought, “There is something about me that wasn’t good enough for her to remove her profile from the site; where this other guy has that ‘something’.”.But I know that’s a ridiculous way to think. How do I know that? Because I’ve told plenty of friends NOT to think that way when dealing with similar dating situations. I know that her reasons have absolutely nothing to do with me, the type of guy I am, or how I choose to live and date. She just wasn’t the person who is supposed to fully recognize all of those qualities in me..One day I will find a woman who is as crazy about me, as I am for her..Thus, brings us to where we are today..I’m on the “hunt”..Since she and I parted our romantic ways I have hit the ground running; determined to find the woman I’m going to marry. It may not be the next woman I date. Or the one after that. But eventually I’ll find her. Those are important, and specifically chosen, words too. I’ll find her. I’m done waiting for it to “just happen”. I don’t believe in that common phrase, “If you stop looking, that’s when it will happen.” To be honest with you, that typically really applies to women. Being a guy, you can’t stop looking. You stop looking, you’re screwed..Here’s the plan. I’m going to take my online dating to a new level. Currently I have accounts on OkCupid and POF. When it comes to those two sites, I’ve had decent success on OkC and will continue to push on there. I’m probably going to deactivate my account on POF because there are very few women in my area, on that site, that catch my interest..After the new year, if I haven’t “found” anyone yet, I’m going to bite the bullet and sign up for a pay dating site for my first time ever. This being the case, which site would you all recommend? I’m a 31 year old, single white male who lives in the Midwest. Which site has the most promise for me? Which one has the best deals? Which is more cost effective? 🙂.I’ll begin posting some profile updates; asking for opinions, thoughts and constructive criticism.