43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And Yet Another Reason Why I’ll Be Single Forever… December 4, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:23 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Apparently all the cute, normal, age & height appropriate single men in my area have moved.  Or already dated me.  Or I’ve scared them off with my stunning good looks and witty profile.  Or know my family.  Or think I’m either too fat, too thin, too pretty, too ugly, too smart, too dumb, too boring, too funny, too successful, not successful enough, too old, too young, too independent, too dependent or just plain have no desire to meet/know/sleep with me. 😉 I swear the lineup of men who have favorited me on match could double as an FBI most wanted list.  I’m at the point now where I don’t even read messages or look at profiles from guys who wink.  Wanna know why?  This is why:

Hi Gorgeous,
How are you doing and how was your day at work? you have a Well written profile here.
My name is David and i am new on this …i will like to know you more if you don’t mind.

I must say you look awesome and stunning gorgeous,first of all i must say your smile is so priceless and i really like your hair , secondly, i think you are an amazing woman who has great qualities and also know what she wants in her man.

You look so calm,i will be glad if you check my profile and see if we can chat to know more about each other.My membership on the site runs out soon.You can reach me through *********84 / AT yahoo /DOT /com I am really interested in knowing you more or you can send me your email address…i will write you to tell you more about me.
Please take a very good care of your self, and I hope to hear back from you.


I don’t even want to know what ‘looking calm’ even means.  I’m glad that he finds me stunning, gorgeous and awesome though.  I’m certain that this isn’t a cut and paste job either.  I think he really took the time to read my profile carefully, admire my pictures and then sat down to compose this wonderful grammatically incorrect message to me.  Did I forget to mention that he’s 57 with no picture?  I’m so lucky………..



12 Responses to “And Yet Another Reason Why I’ll Be Single Forever…”

  1. lafinwitu65 Says:

    English is not his first language, We white guy rednecks have our own style of grammatically eliminating ourselves from the game. Thats the types of errors I see in those Nigeria internet scams or the 24 year hottie in a bikini that frequently messages me on match.

  2. ifUseekAmy Says:

    Reading that made my head hurt. Not from the grammar and attempt to decipher it, but from hitting my head against the wall.

  3. SillyG Says:

    New on this and his profile runs out soon…. hmmm

  4. Hahahah…I love you xo thanks for the smile on a really crappy day

  5. I couldn’t agree with you more. We both have the luckiness just flowing out of us…. Hahaha

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