43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Has the Water Supply Become Compromised in Kansas? ~ Guest Post By Matthew December 7, 2012

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:39 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Enjoy another great guest blog post by Matthew!!

Has the Water Supply Become Compromised in Kansas?
*warning – this post has what is probably the most self-deprecating humor I’ve ever written.*
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I don’t have certifiable evidence that something has been slipped into the water here. Perhaps it’s an airborne “toxin”, or possibly we’re being fed genetically altered produce and livestock, all as a secret plot by local Kansas farmers to take over the world.
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Why have on gone conspiracy theory? For the last two weeks I’ve been exchanging the occasional message with a new woman on OkCupid. We’ve only exchange about 8 messages (between the two of us) but each one has technically increased in information and length. Considering that variable, my latest message to her included the comment that we should meet.
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I’ll actually provide you with a sneak peek into my dating world by putting my message to her in here, but we’ll get to that. First I need to finish my rational for suspecting a conspiracy.
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Time for another recap. Here’s 2012 for you so far, as it applies to my dating life.
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-I began 2012 in a relationship with (as she is now know) The Ex. 
-July I became single (hence why the The Ex is now known by that moniker). We are most definitely not in contact.
-July I met Red. I was attracted to her immediately when I first saw her. (Seriously, I could recount the story for you…) We eventually tried the dating thing briefly, but in the end the chemistry simply wasn’t there. Regrettably we are no longer in contact.
-August I met DS. We dated for a couple of months. Life intervened. We are currently friends.
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Perhaps those Mayans were on to something with their predictions for the world ending in two weeks. Life is providing me a grand send-off by making me believe I’m actually desirable to the opposite sex.
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I admit that really isn’t a long recap but if I were to compare it to some of my previous years, again when it pertains to dating, there would be maybe 1 bullet point, if even that. If my memory is working correctly I’m sure I didn’t date anyone (and by that I mean even go out on a date) during 2008 and maybe even 2009. Knowing this, 2012 has already become a high ranking year for me when it comes to encounters with the opposite sex. Do I really attribute this to a chemical imbalance in the environment? No, but it would explain a lot of other things.
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You could call it confidence, charm, or charisma. Personally, I just consider it being the fact that I am happy with who I am. Plain and simple. Sure there are things I would like to improve, when it comes to a couple items in my life, but that doesn’t necessarily make me unhappy, flawed, or unstable. Not only have I accepted who I am as a person/guy/human, but the way I carry myself expresses this to the outside world. Fortunately for me, women seem to be picking up on this. I like to believe that the following inner monologue takes place when a woman notices me on the street, “Hmmm, take a look at that incredibly handsome example of an Italian man with beautiful dark eyes, an adorable smile, and a wonderfully geeky t-shirt. He’s precisely the type of man I need in my life.”
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Haven’t I created a wonderful world in my head? You’re all welcome to join me. It really is a wonderful place, kind of like Wonka’s factory (Wilder not Depp).
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Apparently there’s at least one woman who seems to have tuned in to my ego-maniacal imagination as a conversation has been taking place on OkCupid. I thought I would provide you with a small exert from my latest response to her.
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*she listed on her profile that she dislikes cats, as did I, so I called her out on it and asked why. After receiving her list of reasons she asked me mine.*
Our cat “issues” are very similar. 1.) I’m somewhat allergic. Not to all cats, but most of them usually trigger misery for me. 2.) I’ve never understood the dynamic of having a cat as a pet. They are too independent. You don’t really need to care for them…they just exist, and don’t even contribute to rent, etc. 3.) They ARE shady S.O.B.s. Very much a ‘I’m-better-than-you’ vibe and extremely spiteful. I don’t trust them.
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I will admit that kitten are cute and I like them. But then they grow up…and become corrupt, losing all innocence.
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I am most definitely a dog person.
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*she grew up in KC so I asked her about some of her favorite places to go.*
Your Kansas City Secrets are pretty good. Some of them I’ve heard of (even been to) and others are new to my eyes. I too am a fan of [local park]. I occasionally stop by an establishment in [part of city] (usually [restaurant] for a beer and the patio). Have I mentioned I am a fan of live jazz/blues and the [jazz club] is probably my go-to place for that (though I haven’t been in ages).

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You have just solidified that I need to go to the [cafe]. It wasn’t until I moved to KC that I found my taste for falafel and hummus. Now, if given the opportunity to try somewhere new for them, I have to go.
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*in my profile I mention that one of my favorite things to do is cook, and that while cooking I am most likely singing along with whatever I have playing at the time. In a previous message she mentioned karaoke and then gave a playful jab asking if I’ve ever done karaoke or if I save my vocal stylings for my kitchen appliances.*
Would you believe that I have never done karaoke? Years in high school participating in various choirs, and even more years singing to my saute pan (well played by-the-way) or my car, but for some reason I’m a bit…shy…when it comes to karaoke. One of these days I need to overcome that.
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Now speaking of all of these amazing places in Kansas City I do have to ask, would you possibly be game for meeting? Perhaps at a place mentioned above, or somewhere completely different for one/both of us.
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How did that turn out for me, you may be asking yourself?
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She agreed that we should meet and we are currently working on establishing a day for this to happen.
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Have a great weekend!
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