I guess I could have titled this post ‘My Night With Ted’, but didn’t. So for any of you who actually live under a rock (and my apologies if you do), last night was New Year’s Eve. What’s a non hideous, tall, blonde, single, over the hill woman to do on such a night? Well, I could have gone out. I could have gone to a party. I could have done laundry. I could have trolled internet dating sites. I could have spent it with Ted. And no, smart-asses, NONE of my dogs are named Ted. As I wouldn’t go out on NYE if you paid me, I wasn’t actually invited to any parties, having to tell people I did laundry on NYE might have caused me throw myself off my rooftop and I haven’t actually logged into any of my dating sites (there’s only 2 currently, calm down) in over a month, none of these options appealed to me. As it would make me sound like a loser to say I picked up Chinese food and a 6 pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, I won’t say that either. Although I did. Shhhhhh.
So I sat at home. With Ted. Eating Chinese food and drinking beverages favored by the 18 and younger crowd. I talked on the phone to a friend for a while. I sent some text message. I thought about sending a Happy New Year message to TD. But didn’t. Round of applause people! Although you all know that I stopped talking to TD on Friday, there was a bit of a text war on Saturday morning. And for once, I didn’t do one damn thing to deserve it. And I didn’t recognize the mean and hurtful man who was texting me. And I was in shock. We’ve certainly had our share of ups and downs and I’m certainly willing to take the blame for my part in them, but I did NOTHING to deserve what he aimed in my direction that morning. Although I know his anger and frustration was due to the highly paranoid and untrusting closet dweller, TD actually had no idea what he was sending in my direction. And I’d had enough. And just stopped responding. We all know that it’s absolutely in my nature to try to ‘explain’ my point of view or feel guilty and apologize (sometimes for things I didn’t even do), but this time was different. The anger and accusations that he hurled at me on Saturday were truly unbelievable. So I just stopped. His last 2 texts to me on Saturday night were hugely apologetic, admitting that he had acted irrationally, that he couldn’t believe he’d said everything he had to me, that he didn’t even recognize himself and that he’d never forgive himself. And I still didn’t respond. And still haven’t. Although you all know good and well that I have not one, but two versions of an e-mail sitting in my draft folder just for him. And there they’ll stay. Each time I feel ‘on the brink’ of wanting to contact him, I just read back through the text strand from Saturday morning and get pissed off all over again…..
Whoopsie, got a bit off track. Anyway, I got a Happy New Year message from TD’s son at midnight and I sent one back. I sent one to his sister as well. And no one else. 🙂
So not only was my NYE boring, but it was filled with good decisions (yey me!), MSG, my awesome doggies, and Ted. An adorable stuffed bear that has a penchant for hookers. Damn funny movie people and just what I needed!
Happy New Year all!!