43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I’ll Need My Decoder Ring Back……. January 14, 2013

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:12 am
Tags: , , , ,

So we all know about the amazing implosion of my friendship with TD.  We all know that it was long past due.  And that I ended it first.  And then he declared a break.  And sent me a shitty non-apology e-mail.  And that I pretty much haven’t spoken to him since (aside from when I took his daughter to dinner).  And I’m doing my best to not even think about him.  And know that I’m better off and made the right choice in finally walking away.  And then, just to prove that I will never understand that man, I get this last night:

You have been quiet and a really don’t know where we stand right now. I hope you are well and happy. I’m very sorry for being such a shitty friend lately, I feel I have let you down. I also feel that maybe it would be good for you to distance yourself from us a little. At least that’s what I have been told by others, and I was selfishly keeping you in my life and my kids lives probably too much. Im really not sure.
I know you are very frustrated with relationships and I truly hope that will turn around someday soon. This seemed to be the week for breakups as The Key Wielding Next Door Neighbor Ex’s BF is clearly not there anymore and My ex wifes just broke up with her BF today. She said she will take some time away from relationships for a while. Hope she does but it will not be easy for her.
My daughter made her first bread yesterday…she sent you a picture, not sure if you saw it. My son did the food serving thing and liked it a lot more. I hope you are keeping warm and didn’t get sick. Crazy cold weather.
Why would he send this?  Why, when I AM distancing myself, would he go out of his way to contact me to suggest that I distance myself?
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21 Responses to “I’ll Need My Decoder Ring Back…….”

  1. tripletall180mochagirl Says:

    Because he misses the attention. He misses having his ego stroked. Do not REPLY. Ignore it. I am dealing with the same thing right now. I sent my final goodbye email once and for all and yet he still chose to send me texts trying to get to me. I have not responded. After nine months of me waivering back and forth I have finally gotten enough strength not to fall for these lame tactics.

    • I have no intention of replying. I’m just amazed that he would send it. He truly has no clue. I’m sorry about your situation, but let’s both be strong and leave our drama creaters in the past.

    • Fun Philly Says:

      I agree, he is trying to push your buttons. I think he is one of those ppl who believes he can’t have a healthy relationship without drama. Just like when u let him know you didn’t want him to come to dinner and he showed up. With u out of the picture, he get’s no drama from you or the new cray chic in town. Moreover, I wouldn’t believe everything he says about her either. You don’t know if he is saying shit to her to maximize drama. You ever stop to think that maybe she may be so damn jealous and insecure because he might be telling her u want him?

      Just think about it.

      ❤ u miss u… Good luck.

      • Holy cow! Is it really you?!?!? 😉 I miss you too. I agree that he creates drama (and then blames the other person). I’m sure he’s still getting drama from the closet dweller, he just can’t blame it on me anymore……

  2. ifUseekAmy Says:

    Ignore it and then, seriously, block his emails. If you feel you must respond, simply write “please STOP contacting me”…or…what I would say, “fuck off”.

  3. lafinwitu65 Says:

    Come on GG your so much better than this, cut the cord once and for all like you said you were going to do last year. It won’t be till you truly give him the gift of “missing you” that anything will actually change. Doesn’t matter if its your dating life or your relationship with TD either way. Cut the cord truly “be done” otherwise your looking at another year of torture….

  4. lafinwitu65 Says:

    Come on GG your so much better than this, cut the cord once and for all like you said you were going to do last year. It won’t be till you truly give him the gift of “missing you” that anything will actually change. Doesn’t matter if its your dating life or your relationship with TD either way. Cut the cord truly “be done” otherwise your looking at another year of torture….

    • Hiya Lafin’. I am cutting the cord. I haven’t replied to any of his e-mails or texts. I am better off without him. I have NO intention of having a replay of 2012. I think I’m doing well, btw. Better than I ever have in the past. I’m done with the drama and the games. He’s shown me his true colors and that stuff will never be forgotten 😦 I AM overly forgiving. Up until a point. And he passed that point.

  5. Matthew Says:

    I’m getting a kick out of: “You have been quiet…”
    AND: “I also feel that maybe it would be good for you to distance yourself…”

    Did he read what he wrote?

    I don’t know if it’s necessarily an attention thing he’s wanting from you, or if it’s just a “Hmmmm, she hasn’t been contacting me lately, but I need to tell her to leave me alone for a while so I can gain that sort of “control” back.

    • Isn’t that the best Matthew? I think you’re right on the last count. This way he can convince himself (and others) that he was the stand up guy and is looking out for my best interest. That sounds much better than ‘I was an asshole one too many times and she finally told me to fuck off’ 😉

      • Matthew Says:

        And it’s not only that (possibly) but also a way for him to feel ‘less rejected’. If you just distanced yourself on your own accord it’s essentially rejection.

        By sending you a message “requesting space” he doesn’t feel as rejected and thus has control over his “fate”.

        We are a weird breed.

        • Ahhh, I see. And that is textbook TD. He hates not knowing ‘why’ people do whatever to him. Poor guy didn’t need to go to the trouble though ….. didn’t he already tell me last week that he needed ‘space’? I am certain he wanted me to argue the point or tell him that that’s not what I need and then invite them all to do something …… like I did so many times last year.

  6. Jacs Says:

    Ah yes, the typical reach out after the formal snub. I have had this happen many times and unfortunately I don’t have the will power to not answer, and not respond with a well crafted message. Good on ya! That has been my downfall in getting over my douchebag, and I’m finding it harder and harder to understand why. You owe TD nothing. Now that he doesn’t have your attention, and he doesn’t know that someone thinks so highly of him and the life he’s created for himself, he is feeling lonely and lost. Perhaps this will be the push he needs to understand that the closet dweller isn’t the person for him. Or, unfortunately, typically what happens – people just become complacent with their lives and the people in them because getting rid of someone is harder than just letting them stay. Its a sad truth, and as you have told me many times, we are better off without them. I’m always here to chat about it if need be….in the same boat my friend. Ps. I hate him for reaching out to you. Hate.

    • Thanks Jacs. I may take you up on that (and vice versa). I know all too well that we’re going thru pretty similar things. It took me a year to let go. A year that I’ll never get back and a year that absolutely changed me for the worse. In my quest to be who he wanted, I lost who I was and the ability to remember what it is that makes me special. I wish I could help you get over your douchebag, but regardless of what anyone says, it just takes time. I could never imagine me not responding, yet here I am. And I know I’m better for it.

      I do think TD and TCD might just be perfect for each other………

  7. Citygirl Says:

    Attention, boredom, control, a drama queen missing the drama…typical disorders of a douchebag trying to figure out why you’re not playing the game anymore. I’m SO glad you are not going to respond. I, too, have been in this situation before and for some of us, it takes us WAY too long to end communication. Like you said before, you communicated to him because you wanted to get your point across. I do that too, but as hard as it is to keep quiet and ignore, it’s best to take the high road. At least in the end, you will have him stumped as to why you stopped playing the game. But beware, I don’t think he is finished with you. You know men…ignoring them makes them more intrigued. Be strong!

    • Thanks CG! It just all got to be too tiring. I was taking too much blame for things that were going on elsewhere in his life. That’s not friendship. Glad he’s showing me that it was not, in fact, me creating all the drama as he’s accused me of so many times …….

  8. SillyG Says:

    Ohhh I’m just catching up here. I hope I dont read the next post and you replied to this bullshit. GG he jsut so wants to keep you in the background in case he has a single moment to toy with you again. Just sounds like a real jerk. Sorry he sent that bs.

    • nope, didn’t reply to his bullshit, however did have to see him yesterday and it was a big ole’ shit storm (as is our usual MO) …… he’s still the same selfish ass he was 2 weeks ago ……. and 2 months ago …….


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