43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Lock & Key February 17, 2013

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:48 am
Tags: , , , ,

All two of you We all know that I got a tattoo last year.  On the back of my neck.  Of a key.  With little hearts ‘hidden’ in the design.  I’ve been asked many times what it signifies.  My answer is always the same.  It signifies different things on different days.  What’s the key to happiness?  What’s the key to love?  What’s really important to me and what do I need to do each and every day to remind me to prioritize my life in a more fulfilling manner (what?  happy hour should be top of the list…..duh).  The purpose was to be that I could look at it and be reminded of what’s really important.  Too bad I put it on the back of my neck.  Where I can’t actually see it easily.  I wonder if that was by design.  I never thought of that before last night when one of my friends (bar with friends for the 2nd night in a row – yey me!) suggested that I put it there on purpose, so I wouldn’t have to see it.  So I wouldn’t have to face knowing that I sometimes have my priorities ass backwards.  Huh, she may actually be right.

Anywhoo, this post is certainly NOT going to be another one of my whiney/self-pitying/introspective/annoying as hell ones.  Far from it!  It’s about the singles event I went to on Valentine’s Day.  Normally, the thought of going out, sans date, on Valentine’s Day would be akin to shoving a rusty fork in my eye, but for some reason, this event sounded really fun.  And interactive.  Despite my ability to talk to a wall for hours on end, I do find that I stand-off to the side a lot when in large groups and don’t interact.  While I can ‘make friends’ with just about anyone on a one to one basis, throw me into a large group and I’m instantly a wallflower.  I went with a girlfriend of mine (who really does need a cool blog name, darn it).  When we arrived (right behind a *ahem* lady wearing some sort of chiffon halter jumpsuit something or other without a bra) we were a bit leery of who’d be there.  We signed in, got our ‘hello my name is’ name badges and proceeded to the other end of the bar.  Oh wait, no, we proceeded TO the bar 1st for a cocktail.  Then we went to the other side of the bar to pick up our little padlocks to wear.  No, not chastity belt style, but on a lanyard around our necks.  See, the women got locks, the guys got keys.  The mission was to find as many guys whose keys popped your lock (insert filthy humor here) as possible and for each one you found, you’d get a raffle ticket and then switch up your lock for a new one and then start all over again.  Basically it forces you to talk to everyone there.  Well, every guy that is as girls do us no good.  Except of course, for the woman we met right after we arrived who ended up being totally cool and hung out with us the rest of the night.

We all split up, talked to men, had cocktails, had fun and made dirty jokes.  Oh wait, that may have just been me.  I’m such a lady.  As the event wound up, I realized how much I had enjoyed myself.  Nope, I didn’t meet the man of my dreams, but made a cool new friend and had a lot of fun.  And I’m damn proud of myself for doing it.

I did meet one guy who I sort of liked.  He was cute (in a total nerdish kinda way) and funny and damn it, short.  But I thought I’d give him a chance anyway.  Until some other guy came up to talk to me and the little one that I liked wandered off.  To talk to some other skank. 😉 I tried to catch his attention after that, but to no avail.  Finally, as we were leaving, I just decided to screw it and make an ass of myself.  As I’m not intelligent enough (and seem to have lost my ‘game’ sometime back in the ’90s) to bring business cards with me, I grabbed a blank name tag, wrote my number on it and marched over to the little man who I liked.  That was still talking to the other woman and ever so suavely shoved it in his face.  Ha.  I’m so lame.  He gave me a hug, I told him it was nice to meet him, I received a very icy glare from ‘the other woman’ and then I left.  Never to hear from him again.  *sigh*

All in all it was a really fun night.  And I have a newfound interest in actually being able to go out and socialize.  Kind of.  There is another ‘singles’ event (god I hope it’s not swingers) at the beginning of March that my new friend wants to go to and I have agreed to be brave and go.  Too bad it’s a pajama party/dance kinda thing.  I’m sure I’ll be absolutely stunning in a sea of slutty whore-wear in my men’s powder blue garden gnome pajamas.  Sorry people, my days of using Halloween or a Pajama Party in order to dress as scantily as possible (I only went as a street walker once in college, thank you very much) are long gone.  You’re welcome! 😉

Now if only I could stop picking up women at these singles events and actually meet a guy, I might have something a bit more juicy to write about ……. Oh, and there’s another match.com ‘stir’ event on Tuesday.  For the old farts.  My new and not so beloved age group.  Eh, at least I’m certain that my friend and I will not only be the cutest ones there, but also the youngest!  I think I challenged us to each talk to 3 men when we were there ……. which is hysterical as we both sort of cringed.  Even after talking to no less than 40 different men at the lock and key event ……. shoot, maybe we should have kept our locks.

I’ll keep ya’ posted!



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