43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

What’s The Opposite of A Good Date? That Would Be MY Date…. March 14, 2013

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:31 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So today was my dreaded lunch date with Arkansas.  After hemming and hawing for the last 3 weeks and trying to half assed figure out a time that would work for us to meet with my uber swamped schedule and his shitty night schedule, I finally gave in for today.  Although I have actually been really busy with work and work and stuff, I was also running out of made up excuses.  If my excuses were reality, I would lead one damn exciting life!  So far in the past 3 weeks I’ve been to the movies 3 times, hiking 3 times, gone to California, gone to laser tag (what? I was under pressure and he caught me off guard), and taught several cooking classes.  None of the above being true, of course.  I’ve really just been working and going to happy hour.  And avoiding meeting him.  Aren’t I a peach?

He’s been texting me incessantly at all hours of the day and night and seems to have an affinity for calling me ‘hot’.  Call me crazy, I find that totally creepy coming from someone I’ve never met.  As you may, or may not, recall we’ve only spoken on the phone once.  A 20 minute conversation of him not bothering to take a breath between bitching about his ex-wife, his job and the state that we live in.  *Sigh*  I’m sure you can understand my lack of excitement.  Honestly, I pointed out twice before that I don’t think we have enough in common and that I don’t think our schedules work together.  He wouldn’t give up.  Or give in.  And I’m a pussy.  And a girl’s gotta eat, right?

So today was the day.  And my day was crazy busy.  And I almost cancelled but didn’t have the heart.  Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone that I can actually be nice on rare occasions.  He picked a restaurant and a time to meet.  And it was closed.  Nice.  Then he hemmed and hawed on where to go instead and you’ll all be proud of me for not getting aggravated (more than I usually am) when it took him no less than 10 minutes to pick an alternate place (although we were standing right in the middle of about a bazillion options).  So he picked one.  And we went for wings.  Lovely.  As he was everything I expected him to be: short, dressed in shorts and a rugby shirt, bald, whiney and sporting some very fucked up teeth, it was fine with me.  We grabbed a table and he started talking.  And never stopped.  An hour and a half of him talking.  And talking.  And talking.  It was fairly impressive.  Oh, and annoying.  He was so nice, but between the bitching about his wife, declaring his love of Ultimate Fighting, the fact that he can’t find anywhere to shoot at squirrels (?), his love of overalls (!), and displaying his supreme level of bigotry, 2pm couldn’t have come fast enough.  He didn’t ask me one single thing….just rambled on about himself.  Odd.

I knew he wasn’t going to be my type, but I thought I’d give it a chance in the hopes that he would surprise me.  He didn’t.  Oh wait, he did.  When he tried to kiss me after walking me to my car.  And trying to look down my low-cut dress.  What?  I assumed we wouldn’t hit it off, so the least I could do was to throw him a bone and at least provide a nice view.

Of course, on the way home, I received a text from him.  That said ‘I had fun.  Your (yes, he spelled it just like that) even hotter in person”.  *sigh*  I wish I could have said the same for him.  I fear I will not be moving back to Arkansas with him ……….


10 Responses to “What’s The Opposite of A Good Date? That Would Be MY Date….”

  1. happenstance Says:

    Randomly stumbled upon this blog while browsing “dating” tags. Really enjoyed the post.

  2. Citygirl Says:

    He sounds horrible! Sometimes you gotta listen to your intuition, lol. But at least you tried to give him a chance!

  3. Matthew Says:

    Whoa, we both had our dates on the same day?! And I subscribed to more of your rules than you did. What’s happening to this world?

    Sorry it was a bit of a bust. Free meal for you (hopefully) and a loss on his side of things. Maybe next time he’ll remember to breathe, chew, and ask questions.

    • Really Matthew? You’re not going to tell me/us how your date went? I’m quite certain it couldn’t be as bad as mine. And answer me this ……. why the hell is my luck SO bad with dating? Oh, and another thing …… you didn’t dance on the table, did you? 😉

      • Matthew Says:

        There was no table dancing, despite the fact I had two beers, we only ordered chips and artichoke dip, and I hadn’t eaten anything else since about 8 hours prior.

        To the best of my knowledge it went well. Good, engaging conversation. Laughing. Hello and Goodbye hugs. Interested was expressed from the both of us to go out again (once she gets back from going out of town, leaving tomorrow)

        I know you’ve had problems with OkStupid before, but maybe you’ve been off there long enough the matches have changed a bit. I was about to throw in the towel and suddenly it’s become a promising lead for me.

        That, or I think since I had a GG style date with adult drinks, you need to go on a Matt style date for coffee. 😉

        • Bite your tongue! I went out for lunch for heaven’s sake! That’s so NOT a GG approved 1st meeting venue! 😉

          Ugh …….. I’ll have to think long and hard about giving OkStupid (whoopsie) another shot.

          Yey for a good date for you! Someone’s gotta have them! 🙂

  4. Jacs Says:

    hahaha that sounds sooooooooooo much like the dates that I go on. Love it. Im sorry it was shitty, but as you said, is certainly something to write about, look back and laugh on, and learn from! 🙂 Hope the next date, with someone from another state is alot better!

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