So I received an interesting comment a little bit ago and it’s made me think. It actually makes perfect sense, yet doesn’t. It would be easy for me to blame all of my dating ‘luck’ (or lack thereof) online based on the sheer fact that I am dating online. I can’t decide if I agree or not. Read for yourself:
I too am 43 and single (6 years celibate) and currently dating. I have only one suggestion. STOP THE ONLINE DATING. There is something desperate about a woman searching for men… They know just by you being on there that you are lonely and they tend to treat it like a buffet. Which is why even when things seem to be going ok they disappear, because there are so many other lonely women to choose from. Online dating makes you an option. Think about it. That is not what you want. You desire to be somebody’s one and only. Just like when you meet someone you are feeling good about and hope things will go further that’s what you want him to feel as well. You are setting yourself up every time, Simply because from the time you log on YOU ARE AN OPTION. Online dating should be for entertainment only. Something to do when you have nothing to do. But never as a means to actually meet that special someone. (If you get lucky) Then whoopee!
Think about what I’m saying…
There are so many ways and places to meet men. Without looking like you are wearing a sign. They love the chase and believe it or not you take that away just by having an online profile. Just by hanging out at Sporting Events, Bowling, Sports Bars ect.. (everywhere men are) You may not meet someone every time. But honestly it only takes once.
Is this true? As we all know, I suck at providing any sort of ‘chase’ (probably why I’m still single) and would hope that there’s at least one guy out there that would appreciate not having to work so hard and knowing up front how I feel. It’s not like I gush all over them, but if I like someone, I let them know. Not in a creepy first date ‘marry me’ sorta way, but I don’t play hard to get and I don’t play games. We all know that I made myself WAY too available to a certain someone who clearly gravitates to women who aren’t fully available and that he has to work really hard in order to ‘get’. Are all men like this though? While I would LOVE to meet someone organically or while I’m out and about, the sheer fact of the matter is that I don’t. And I mean ever. I go out (sometimes). I go to bars (sometimes). I go to sporting events and the grocery store and outdoor concerts and meetup events. I have yet to ever be approached by anyone interested in asking me out. Ever. Oh wait, I did have a 76 year old little Italian man who was just about eye level with my chest hit on me last night, but I’d like to think that doesn’t count.
I know that there are men that follow my blog (don’t worry, I won’t tell), so I would very much appreciate your input on this (women too, of course). Does the sheer fact that I online date make me ‘desperate’ and therefore only an ‘option’?
(and, just to be clear, I am not looking for anyone to bash the author of this well thought out comment ….. she took the time to write it to me and I very much appreciate that)