As a continuation of the learning programs that I offer such as How Not To Time A Vacation , How To Date A Douchebag Online, How To Scare A Man Away In 3 Dates or Less and the ever popular Do As I Say, Not As I Do series, I am offering another helpful little tidbit. Completely free. Sadly there are no course credits offered, but whatever. Today’s lesson is a stellar one that I’ve been working on for years in the hopes of perfecting it. And I think I finally have. We all know I’m pretty well versed in the ways of online dating. That I am not one of those ‘game players’ or ‘rule followers’ and much prefer to wing it and usually end up looking (and acting) like a spaz. Sometimes though, very rarely, I get it right. This is not one of those times. Today’s lesson is all about responding to an initial message. Now, pay close attention …… and do exactly the opposite.
So I’ve been a little message sending machine on Match this week. I’ve probably sent out no less than a dozen messages. So I’ve only gotten about a 50% return (which is WAY higher than usual), but that just probably means that the other 50% are stupid, married or gay, so just as well. Anyway, one of the men who responded was cute as can be. He sent me a long and information filled (possibly a cut and paste job?) response and complimented me on a few things that I had written in my profile as well as my winning smile. As we all know what a sucker for empty compliments I am, I got all giddy and ridiculous when I went to respond back. Included in his tidbits for me was information about his family. About his hobbies. About his kids. About his food allergy to wheat. About his pets. About his love of eating healthy and staying in shape (which seems to be a big claim for guys my age-ish). All useful things and all providing me multiple options in which to base my response on. Being the suave
dipshit gal that I am, I touched on the topic that was near and dear to my heart. Food. Or rather, his food allergy. In my head it was cute and witty and charming. In reality it went something like this:
I’m sorry to hear about your allergy to wheat. I wouldn’t do well with that as pizza is one of my ‘desert island’ foods. 😦 (yes, I actually included the sad face)
And that, my dear friends, was the end of that. Go figure 😉