The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

It’s 5pm Somewhere……… May 31, 2013

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:56 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Okay, so I’m starting to write this before I’ve even left.  As we all know I needed a tremendous attitude adjustment before leaving for my date (and to not allow TD to ruin this for me too even though he’s not even around), it was decided that I needed a pre happy hour cocktail.  Yeah, that pretty much means that I’d start drinking at 2.  In the afternoon.  On a Friday.  This would normally not be an issue for me, but as we were meeting at a very nice Mexican restaurant where I’d be enjoying tequila soaked beverages, I didn’t think mixing that with vodka cocktails would be a good idea.  For some reason I don’t think he’d find my throwing up on him charming.  Go figure.  Oh wait, did you just say ‘who he’?  Well, I’ll get to that later.  Let’s just suffice it to say that it was neither the creepy guy with the skull vein nor was it TD.  Or the teacher.  Or any of the other guys that were dumb enough to let me go.  Or who I was smart enough/picky enough/stupid enough to let go.  This was someone new.  And we all know how it’s usually just a recipe for disaster when I get excited about meeting someone.  Here’s hoping this is the date that changes all of that …………. 😉

So I went to meet The Ginger tonight.  We had been e-mailing and texting almost non-stop for the past 2 days.  I very much liked him as he was funny and witty and didn’t wait 3 hours to respond to a text. 🙂 We arranged to meet at 3pm today at a very nice Mexican restaurant that he chose.  I got there early (because I always seem to be early) and grabbed a seat at the bar next to a really funny couple asking if I was there alone.  I told them that I was meeting an internet date and the look of horror that crossed their faces was priceless.  They told me that if I needed help, to act like we were old friends.  I told them that I’d be fine as I was really looking forward to meeting The Ginger.  Or at least the physical specimen of The Ginger that he presented online.  As a shorter, little-r, older version of the cutie I saw online came in I sighed.  Damn.

He sat down and we enjoyed some cocktails and chips, the conversation was fine (mainly because I was just shooting off questions to him) and he apparently loves to talk.  He apparently doesn’t love to ask questions though.  He is terrified of getting into a relationship.  I didn’t inform him of that fact, but when he told me about the woman that he had to break up with as she seemed more into him than he was of her after 2 months and he was afraid she was going to think that they were in a relationship (really? after 2 months?), I knew.  Duh.  He was ‘fine’.  The conversation was ‘fine’.  The whole thing was ‘fine’.  Too bad I’m not looking for ‘fine’.

I think the best part of the date was when he excused himself to the bathroom and the couple next to me tapped me on the shoulder and, in unison, yelled ‘NO, NO, NO’.  Kinda wish they had stayed longer as I would have loved to hang out with them.  As it was though they paid their tab and left right as The Ginger returned from the restroom.  And 2 minutes before The Ginger announces that he needs to go to a store that closes at 6 to pick up a box for a watch he bought the other day.  Uhm, what?  Is that anything like having a friend call to tell you that your house is on fire?  I wish he would have layed that doozy on me 5 minutes earlier and I would have asked the fun couple next to me to stay and hang out.  Sadly, they were gone and my ‘fine’ date was over.  We walked to the parking garage together, he gave me a hug and told me, as 95% of my dates do, ‘I had fun’.  I think that’s the kiss of death.  No, I wasn’t interested in him either but it sure would be nice one of these days to have some guy actually want to see me again so that I can have the opportunity to decide instead of having the decision made for me.  So annoying. 😉


5 Responses to “It’s 5pm Somewhere………”

  1. Hello. I am new to this blogging thing but I think I like it. I enjoyed your story but remain slightly confused. Was the main point the fact that ‘the Ginger’ and others are not representing themselves properly or is it that you feel there is a tendency to see the same patterns via on-line daters?

    The reason I am responding is outside of you having a good and funny story, I am 43, single guy, and a little concussed over getting all pumped up for a date only have to maintain what air I have left in my balloon. Sometimes I just don’t want to bother because, I am going on yet another date.

    This technology and random access would have been peachie had I been in my 20’s. Time, resources, and energy was readily available.

    Are blokes like me part of the problem or part of ‘the hope’? Are our plight remotely the same? lol

    • Hi! Welcome to the world of blogging! It’s a great little (?) community. Thanks for the question. Yes, there are a lot of deceptive photos, descriptions, age, height, personality descriptions that come from both men and women online. I’m not sure if it’s that they are intentionally fibbing, that they think they are describing who you’d like or they think that’s really who they are. I’m not a big fan of people who aren’t truthful or who post outdated pictures. The whole point of online dating is to actually meet in person, so wouldn’t the other person notice they’re not as tall, young, whatever when they meet? Internet dating is not for the faint of heart. It takes some broad shoulders and you have to try not to get discouraged. I try not to get excited about anyone until after I actually meet them as it’s hugely disappointing if I get all jazzed about someone that I have zero chemistry with in person (or who isn’t anything close to what they presented). I try to schedule an actually meet up in person as quickly as possible because as I always say, I don’t want to get to know someone until I know that I actually want to get to know them. Although I hate to call it a ‘game’, online dating is a game of numbers. For each mediocre, horrible, bad date you go on, that just puts you one date closer to finding that great person who is out there for you! You have remain optimistic; you have to keep plugging away; although they are sometimes much harder to find that you’d think or hope, there ARE good people online who are honest, good hearted and looking for a relationship (they’re just kinda buried under all the crappy people) ;-). If you’re concerned about lack of time and/or resources, schedule coffee dates as they’re quick, inexpensive and very casual.

      Although annoying, if you give up, you’ll never find her ……

      • Matthew Says:

        Geez….god forbid you try and label something as a relationship after 2 months of dating. I mean, for a commitment like that you need to be dating someone for at least 8 months.

        The Ginger probably would have thought I was ‘CRAZY!’ because I told my girl I wasn’t planning on dating anyone else after just going out for about 2 weeks.

      • You are awesome. I enjoyed reading your note much like I did your post. And thank you.

        I feel the virtual warm in reading other people’s perspectives and I really want to contribute. I have an english class that I will take this fall, which will being me up to speed on writing research papers in APA format. I will try to work on my writing from the heart as well. I am kind of nervous about posting something, but you know what they say ‘no guts no glory.’ I hope to deliver honest and help content. Perhaps of ‘a man how had lost his way’ or the story of the ‘humble player’; I don’t know. But I do know that I would like to help add some good advice of my own, and still continue to learn from others.

        My name is Robert. I thank you again for your encouragement, wisdom, humor, and kindness 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s