So I had dinner last night with a group of people. One of which is an awesome friend of mine (Miss Speed Date) and the others…….well, were a bit of a hodgepodge. A hodgepodge of socially awkward and downright weird people to be exact. Yup, it was a meet-up group. I was excited to go to a happy hour meet-up that was planned and had been looking forward to it all week. When it got cancelled last minute, I opted for consideration #2 with a different group. A different group of people that I wasn’t sure I’d have much in common with. As I had gotten Miss Speed Date to agree to come with and it was being held at a terrific restaurant in town (when the hell did I go from being a kissing whore to a food whore?), I figured it couldn’t be all that bad. I was wrong.
Miss Speed Date & I sat at one end of the table across from the founder of the group who was saving a seat at the end of the table for some mystery man that she had been ‘talking to until midnight every night of the week’. Uhm, okay. Too bad he waltzed in about 20 minutes late, barely looked at the gal who was excitedly awaiting his arrival and went and plopped his weirdly Bieber-esque self down at a completely different section. Now, don’t get me wrong; poofy Bieber hair complete with baggy jeans and some ridiculous messenger bag may look good on some people, but on this guy, not so much. I couldn’t tell how old he was, but let’s suffice it to say he was MUCH too old to be trying to pull off the casual hipster/thug look. As he had opted not to sit with us, I concentrated on everyone else at the table. The odd bug-eyed man who kept asking everyone if we wanted to try his spicy hummus (no, that’s not a euphemism for anything ……. at least I hope not). The short little man next to Miss Speed Date who was practically leaning into her lap in order to hang on her every word and be included in the conversation, the most normalish guy there that was apparently only there to eat as he paid, got up and left as soon as he was done (smart man), and about 20 other social misfits.
While this interesting array of people should have made Miss Speed Date and I feel uber normal and socially adept (’cause we are, you know), it kinda made me wonder if they were looking at me and thinking how odd/awkward/bitchy/weird I was. Then I decided that would be impossible. 😉 Anyway, the Bieber guy finally comes to sit down next to the gal that had saved his seat all night and also plopped him to my right. Which meant there was no good way to ignore him. Until I decided that he was such a tool that it would be much more fun to screw with him than to just ignore him. Before you all get ready to school me with your words of wisdom on giving people a chance and not being so judgemental, let me give you just a bit of insight into what a winner he was. Somehow the topic turned to yoga. No clue why. Anywhoo, he asked if I was interested in yoga and I said ‘not really, it’s hard on my wrists’. To which opened the door for him to let me know that not only is yoga not a competition, but that it’s all about stretching and inner peace. Okay fine, I get that, but a lot of the poses have to do with squatting (bad knees) and downward dog stuff. Neither of which I can do due to my gift of having the joints of a 90 year old man. He didn’t seem to get this fact and opted to lecture me some more.
Now here’s the thing about me. I will be nice to people who I don’t much care for just for the sake of being a decent human being. Until they piss me off, judge me, or just annoy the shit out of me. He did all 3 and while I wasn’t a flat out a bitch, I certainly didn’t hold back on the biting sarcasm. After the week I had, I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be judged by yet another douchebag who knows nothing about me. I don’t think he’ll be inviting me to yoga class anytime soon.