Okay, more like ‘floating with inappropriately aged hotties’. ‘Cause that’s what I did on my summer vacation. I needed to get out of my home town which happens to be just about 2 degrees shy of the temperature of the sun, so I went to visit a friend. Where there was a huge heat wave going on, so I only saved myself about 5 degrees off the triple digit heat. Yey. Anywho, I had a great time. Ate enough for a small family of 27. Drank enough for a large family of 27 and just relaxed. Damn it was nice. Since I was there on the 4th of July, we decided to float the river that snakes through the center of town. With the rest of the world, apparently. Anyway, it was my friend, her kids and their group of young friends. And by young, I mean 24-27 year olds. And one in particular was damn cute. And nice. And helpful. Because I’m about as coordinated as a sumo wrestler when it comes to getting out of a boat. Or raft. Or car, for that matter. It’s a river with several spots of rapids, so you can’t tie rafts together. Basically it was everyone for themselves. And I haven’t rafted in probably 20 years. You can imagine what a mess I was trying to navigate. Mr Cutie Patootie took pity on me I think and paddled over to me and hung on to my raft. Oh, what I wouldn’t have given for him to hang on to something else. Oh whoops, did I just write that? He was just so nice. What 27-year-old guy wants to float the river and chat with a 45-year-old lady with bad knees and an even worse attitude? He did of apparently and it pretty much made my day (not to mention was the punch line of well intended jokes for the next 2 days).
I had our future all planned out. I’d be his sugar momma. He’d be my little stud muffin. We’d fall madly in lust and live happily ever after. For at least a month. Or two. Who knows …….. I may need to make another trip back there soon to see if there is another chapter to this story. Hopefully one that is not so sadly PG.
Oh, and what else has been going on that has kept me from writing for so long you ask? You didn’t? Well that’s just rude. Now I’m not going to tell you. And there’s lots to tell.