Sorry to tell you all that yes, I have been keeping secrets from you. As none of you actually know me though, I’m sure you’ll forgive me. I can’t remember if I wrote that I am moving. I am moving. To a much smaller house than the one I have now. To a house that won’t remind me as I rattle around in it with my dogs that it’s much too big for just me. To a house that won’t remind me that I bought it 10 years ago with NO intention of living in it, by myself, for so long. To a house that won’t remind me of the 2 men that used to spend much time here with me. Is that sad? Only 2 ‘real’ relationships in the past 10 years? Hell, and one of them apparently wasn’t even ‘real’. Ugh. Most importantly though, I am moving to a house that doesn’t have stairs. And one in which I can make all new memories (hopefully ones that will include another interested party).
Here’s the real news though. Aside from my 2 imaginary dates that I was pathetic enough to make up last year, I don’t think I’ve been on a proper date in over a year and I am certain that the last man I kissed was TD. And that was almost 2 years ago. While my current status of ‘walks with a noticeable limp at the speed of molasses and is carrying around an extra 20 lbs in her ass’ probably wouldn’t bode well for online dating, I’ve apparently had some sort of reaction to my pain meds (don’t judge me, yes, I’m still having to take them). The reaction has caused me to *gasp* I shudder to even say it………. try online dating again. Even worse, I opted to join E-Harmony. Uhm, why? I hate that site. I guess in a moment of drug induced weakness (no, I don’t take that many drugs, thank you very much), I opted to take them up on one of their ridiculously cheap offers for a 3 month membership. As we all know I measure my online dating financial outlays in cocktails and dinners to enjoy, I think I’ve already gotten my $26 initial investment covered.
Yes, we all know that ‘fresh meat’ is very appealing. At least much more so than meat that’s being sitting on the proverbial shelf for 46 years. Anyway, I re-upped my profile (couldn’t figure out how to make an entirely new one and take advantage of their offer) on Tuesday and have 2 dates lined up. One tomorrow and one next weekend. I’ll keep you posted!
Let the games begin.
(disclaimer: I HATE games, I HATE dating, I HATE always being alone)