The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Lesson Learned….. May 20, 2014

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:35 pm
Tags: , , , ,

When last I checked in, I was ‘dating’ 2 men.  And by ‘dating’, I mean going out to dinner.  As that’s all I’m really able to do right now.  One had more potential than the other but I can’t honestly say I was totally excited about either one.  I didn’t want to blog about either of them though as I’ve decided that tempting fate and summoning bad karma probably isn’t a good thing for me right now.

The 1st (and one with less potential) was just SOOOOOO nice.  He complimented me.  Yes, even with my extra 20 pounds and bum knee.  He was sweet and kind and let’s be honest …. boring as hell.  We didn’t have much in common but I did enjoy his company.  We went out a total of 3 times.  I picked up the check on the 3rd, and subsequently last, date.

I opted to give bachelor #2 a shot.  We got along great.  Laughed easily, had fun together and he was a good guy.  Our dates, oddly enough though, never lasted more than an hour.  We would go out to eat and then ….. nothing.  It took him until our 3rd date to even kiss me and darn the luck, it wasn’t good.  Date #4 didn’t involve a kiss as he thought he was getting sick.  I had planned ahead though and studied the restaurant menu online to find what I could order in order to discourage his going in for another try.  Crisis averted.  Then we met for lunch on date #5.  As he had to get back to work, it set an all time record for speed at 41 minutes.  Walking away from lunch, having had him secure plans for Friday, I was feeling okay.  He’s a really good guy.  He’s in good shape, has a good job, makes me laugh and loves his kids.  So he doesn’t knock my socks off … yet.  That could come in time, right?  I could teach him how to kiss.  I think we could have fun together.  Our dates were always very ‘surface’ and neither of us either offered or tried to find out anything deeper about ourselves or the other.  I was determined to change that on our next date…..

I absolutely know that I’m off my game.  I’m not feeling very good about myself.  I’m hugely self conscious about my knee and walking funny.  I’m slightly mortified by my increasingly large ass and I am more than a little bit unorganized and twitterpated since my move.  Well really, since my surgery (I honestly think they removed my memory and ability to organize my thoughts/life along with my knee joint).  Anyway, we’d secured plans for this Friday during our last lunch.  I was hoping that our date would last more than an hour.  For all the times that we went out, we never really got to know much of anything about the other.  I was going to make a concerted effort to change that Friday.

I wasn’t going to blog about anyone with potential.  Maybe to let you all know that there ‘might’ be ‘someone’, but that’s it.  And I held true to that for the past month.  Until he opted to tell me that ‘although I like spending time with you, I don’t think we’re a dating fit’ …. via text.  Nice.  Of course I’m trying to figure out what ‘dating fit’ means.  That I’m not a slut?  That I’m somewhat physically handicapped?  That my ass is the size of Texas?  I don’t know.  And guess I won’t know.  I looked back over our texts and all was fine up until a week ago when contact got a bit more spotty.  I guess I’ll chalk it up to his finding someone he likes better than me.

Guess what though?  My knee will get better eventually.  I’ll be able to do ‘fun’ things again.  I will be able to drop all the weight I’ve gained since being immobile.  I’ll still be alone ….. I’ll just be a better version of me….. and then he’ll be sorry. 😉  Or not …. regardless, that was kinda shitty to dump me via text, doncha think?

Oddly enough, I’m kind of upset about it.  About his not wanting to date me.  Guess it takes being dumped to realize that yeah, I guess I did kinda like that guy…..


7 Responses to “Lesson Learned…..”

  1. Wow, breaking up text message is hugely lame. Consider your awesome self better off…men mostly suck…

  2. Thanks Donna …. this one had potential….. until the text. Boo

  3. Cheryl Says:

    Don’t mistake me for a stalker, but I’m always checking your blog for an update. Thanks for letting us know what’s going on. I’m very happy to not hear anything about TD, to be honest. Hope that means you’re well on your way to being over him.

    It seems suspicious that all of your dates with #2 lasted a short time – makes me wonder what was going on with him. You could ask him what changed his mind, if you’re open to it, although the question is, will he be honest?

    I thought I met a keeper – he has all the qualities most women look for in a man – but chemistry was always spotty. The truth is, I’m just not attracted to him. And I wish like hell I could change that.

    • Haha, no worries Cheryl – I don’t think you’re a stalker at all and appreciate your checking in with me. Ah sounds like you have run into the same thing that I did regarding chemistry. I kept hoping that as we got to know each other better, it would increase, but I guess he opted out instead. Funny thing about the short dates, he ALWAYS secured the next date during the current one. And as we left it last Friday, we were going to get together on Sunday (which he had to cancel thanks to his kids) and he was looking forward to seeing me again. I think he probably met someone else and just took the coward’s way out in dumping me. 😦 As for TD, no worries there, but I do owe everyone an update on that ‘issue’. Stay tuned…..

  4. Gosh. It really sounds like you didn’t.
    Was his maybe getting sick just an excuse or did he not enjoy kissing you as well? I often think no one is bad, just people are incompatible.

    Sounds to me like you got on well enough, but there just wasn’t that deeper connection we look for. “He’s a really good guy. He’s in good shape, has a good job, makes me laugh and loves his kids. So he doesn’t knock my socks off … yet. That could come in time, right?”

    To directly quote from Scrubs…

    Dr. John ‘J.D.’ Dorian: Look, I think you’re amazing, right? I’ve mentioned that. And… and even though I’m not, you know, in love with you right now, I really hope that one day I wake up feeling what you said you feel… even though I kinda asked you not to say it.
    Dr. Kim Briggs: Do you really hope that?
    Dr. John ‘J.D.’ Dorian: With all my heart.
    Dr. Kim Briggs: [sarcastically] Because I always dreamed of finding a guy who hoped he could fall in love with me someday.

    • Uhm, I assure you, he enjoyed the kiss. And even texted me about how ‘awesome’ it was afterwards, talked about how much he wanted to kiss me again on the ‘sick date’, and did kiss me again on our lunch date. I get what you’re saying though, but here’s the honest truth – I don’t like be the dumpee…..

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