So I’ve been back on e-harmony for several weeks now. I’ve dated a very boring, yet sweet man who I neglected to return one text from (on purpose – yes, I suck) and after a day of apparently waiting, he blocked me and I never spoke to him again. The other I went out with a few times and he opted to dump me via text. Just as well as I wasn’t all that into him anyway and trying to convince yourself that you like someone is pretty sad.
Since that time, the trained monkeys that select my perfect matches by apparently throwing poo at a wall of pictures, e-harm has sent me apparent prison inmates, gentlemen who live out of state, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, fat ones and whole slew of ones that haven’t been on the site in more than a month. Gee, thanks.
I was communicating with one gent that I thought was ‘okay’. Yes, I know, resounding endorsement for him. We spoke on the phone once and what ensued was one of the most painfully boring hour and seventeen minutes of my life. Why would I stay on the phone that long, you ask? Well that was because he never took a breath long enough for me to say ‘I gotta go!’. I would ask 1 inane question and he would respond with a 20 minute dissertation. I was so bored that I almost forgot to insert the requisite ‘oh’ and ‘uh-huhs’ while playing solitaire on my phone when he would break to apparently catch his breath before continuing on. He wants to meet for coffee. I totally fibbed and told him I was too busy last week and then ensued another 20 minutes of possible times/days/locations to meet. I kept saying ‘let’s play it by ear’ and he kept going with the options. Oy. I was hoping that he was just a bad phone talker and would be better in person. I didn’t hear from him again all week until last night when he called and I inevitably sent him to voicemail. He left a nice message wanting to know if I wanted to get together this weekend. I haven’t called him back. Because….
I may have possibly ‘met’ the ever elusive Unicorn of online dating. A man who doesn’t text, who is sweet as can be, who prefers to talk on the phone, who is funny and smart and handsome and likes to cook! Problem is, I haven’t actually met him in person yet as he’s currently out of town. He wanted to meet before he left, but I panicked. We are meeting on Saturday. He calls me every day (at least once) and calls me cute nicknames. Apparently, I’m a huge geek as I’m eating it all up. And yes, I am breaking all of my rules for him. Especially the ‘nothing is real until you meet’ one and the ‘don’t spend time getting to know someone before you meet in person and are sure you actually want to get to know them’ …… I’m either setting myself up for a huge disappointment or a huge success. I’m actually more nervous that he won’t like me in person more than I am about not liking him….. where the hell has all my self confidence gone?