guess that’s what I get for throwing something promising out to the universe. I guess I need some help with this one. And by ‘help’, I mean ‘please tell me what I want to hear’. I had no intention of blogging about him. I only blog about my bad dates. Or TD. It’s been so long since I’ve met a good guy with whom I had great chemistry and was excited/hopeful about.
So I went out with that awesome guy again. Yes, I realize it was just date #2, but after having spent hours upon hours on the phone and sending dozens of e-mails back and forth, it seemed longer. Damn you internet dating. As I said he was all about telling me how awesome I was, how he only dates one woman at a time, how much he liked me, how much fun he had with me, how easy I am to talk to. How he’s told me things about himself that his best friends don’t even know. Pretty sure I know this guy inside and out (actually I don’t, or else I’d know how he deals with stress and fear). And I like all that I know.
A few days after our last date, communication sort of died. I know when he gets swamped with work, he’s very single minded. I left him a voicemail on Saturday. I’ve never actually gone to voicemail before. Huh. I didn’t hear back. 😦 On Monday I got an e mail apologizing for his not having called, but he had gotten some bad news about his dad that might require him to go out of town again last minute, that he was swamped with work and trying to get it all done before he had to leave town and wanting to know how I was. I totally understand all of that. I know he must be overwhelmed with work and with worry, but here’s the thing I don’t know. And why I can’t stand overthinking things and being a total worry wart. I haven’t heard from him since Monday. I responded to his e mail. I left him a voicemail on Tuesday. And nothing.
Is it that he’s just retreated because he’s overwhelmed? Is he out of town with his dad? Has he just changed his mind about me? If he was trying to blow me off, why would he bother to send that e-mail to me? Wouldn’t he just have disappeared with no word?
He doesn’t like social media. He doesn’t have a smart phone. He doesn’t text. He doesn’t have a FB page. He either calls or e-mails. Period. Of which he’s done neither. To go from multiple calls and messages a day to not actually speaking to or seeing him in over a week has thrown me for a loop.
I like this guy. I’m pretty sure he likes me. Or at least did. I don’t know what to do. I’m now left to worry about his dad. About him. About whether I should be mad or sad or worried or what. It absolutely sucks to be all 3. I have no right to ask him to ‘clarify’ anything. Especially if he is back home (which he probably is). I know he loves his dad. I know he’s been worried about him. I would assume that if things are bad, he’s not really willing/able to respond to much of anything from anyone.
I just don’t know what to think. Dating aside, I want him to know how worried I am about his dad and that I care. If it were a friend or someone I was more certain of my standing with, I would just send a little note asking how he was, how his dad was and if there was anything I could do. I would check in every now and again and let him know I was thinking of him. I would be okay with no response. I don’t feel I can do that as I would just feel like a complete ass if I contacted him again or sent an e mail if he’s thinking ‘geez, I can’t get rid of this girl’.
He’s told me that he likes a lot of attention from the woman he’s dating. I know that. I don’t want him to think I don’t care. Although from all he knows about me already, he should know that I do. I guess I’m asking what I should do. I left the last voicemail and e-mail. I just need to wait and see if I hear from him again, right? 😦 If it weren’t for his dad being ill (which I know he was very concerned about on his last visit) I’d know he was blowing me off. I just don’t know this time.
I really do suck at dating. I really do hate being hopeful every time my phone rings or I get an e mail notification. I really just hate not knowing….. absolutely sucks when my inherent ‘realist’ side clashes with my ‘hopeful/hopeless/retarded romantic’ side. Ugh.