So I’ve waffled back and forth regarding getting in touch with a specific old friend. Our past relationship has been filled with many ups and downs. He’s made me laugh, he’s made me cry, he’s brightened my day and he’s also made me want to throw myself off the roof at times. He’s put me in some very awkward and uncomfortable situations. He’s hurt my feelings more times than I can count.
I tend to forgive more than I should. I know everyone makes mistakes. Everyone is able to improve or better themselves. I have never felt that any ‘wrong’ done to me was intentional. I hold out high hopes that he is ‘better’ now and will be nicer to me.
I know I’m playing with fire. I know I may be setting myself up for a world of hurt. I can’t go through life expecting the worst of people though. Although it tends to lean towards the ‘dribble’ variety, I try to keep my glass half full.
I’m sure many of you are currently yelling at your computer screens (hopefully you’re not in church) and shaking your heads. You’re right, I may NEVER learn. I think it’s just something I need to do. To at least try. Again. And hope for better results.
Although I’m sure you’re all frustrated with me at the moment, I hope you find it in your hearts to keep good thoughts because, after much deliberation back and forth; After much soul searching and trying to figure out if I’m ‘strong’ enough to go through this again; if I’m up for the disappointment and aggravation; I’ve made my decisions. I’m going to put up a profile back up on OkCupid.
What did you think I was talking about?