43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

How To Write An Online Profile January 23, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:09 pm
Tags: , ,

Or not.  I’m still single at 47, so take what you want from that. 😉 I’ve heard of women (and men) that have these all encompassing lists of what they’re looking for in a partner.  If he or she doesn’t tick every single one of their 752 requirements, then they’re out.  Height, weight, hair color, income, car, nose hair length, area of town, favorite food, fingernail length and many other random ways to rule out 99.9% of the men or women on the planet.  And they wonder why they’re single.

My ‘list’ is a bit more concise when setting up and online profile.  I would prefer that he be at least my height or taller.  I would prefer they be not quite yet on medicare.  I prefer that they can string several words together without sounding like a complete moron.  Oh, and although I am flexible on socioeconomic status and living situation, I MUST draw the line at living in their mother’s basement.  Unless, of course, she’s a phenominal cook, lives in a mansion and provides us with a ginormous allowance each and every week.  No wait, not even then.

It’s not that I’m ‘picky’, I would say it’s more ‘selective’.  Unless his hobby is illegal or just downright gross (taxidermy anyone?), I’m open to men with different interests.  As a matter of fact, that would be great.  I’m not looking for a carbon copy of me (perish the thought), but rather someone who is different.  In a good way.  Not in a 2 headed split personality way though.  Just sayin’.

I’ve gone the route of joining social groups and doing what I like.  Although I’ve made many new female friends, it hasn’t panned out too well on the man front.  It’s hard to spin a love of all things happy hour into a relationship. 😉 So I’ve been sitting at my computer for the past 2 days attempting to write a little ‘essay’ about myself for whichever dating site is lucky enough to gain me as a member.  Ha.  Want to know how far I’ve gotten?  This blog post….. period.

I know the ‘rules’: don’t give too much information; don’t give too little information; don’t alienate people (I usually save that to do in person anyway); don’t sound too high maintenance;  don’t sound too low maintenance; don’t be too sarcastic; do show a sense of humor.  The fact remains that I am 47 years old and have never been married.  That’s seemingly not the biggest of selling points.  Although I jokingly say I just skipped my 1st divorce, I know men shy away from this status.  Nope, not broken or bitter or hideous or dumber than a box of rocks (much).  I’m just me.  Me and my bad luck with men.  Hmmmmm, what to say, what to say…… Well, whatever I decide to write certainly won’t be put up tonight.  I prefer to have the men find out just how pathetic I am in due time; not right off the bat by putting up a dating profile on a Friday night!


5 Responses to “How To Write An Online Profile”

  1. 1smiles Says:

    I truly feel your pain. I’m sitting next to you in the ‘single woman’ boat. I too ponder the many aspects of meeting a reasonably decent middle aged guy. I am nearly ten years older than you are. So the medicare group isn’t far off for me. It’s a whole different set of complications though, from guys looking for a care giver to assist them through old age, and the ones on medications that prevent ‘function.’ if you know what I mean.

  2. Gotta stay positive 1Smiles! And don’t kid yourself, I have the medicare set contacting me. Never thought of it in a ‘blue pill’ sort of way though. Eek!

  3. MrsH Says:

    Firstly, let me reassure you, my husband had never married until he met me when he was 51! So there is still time, you are not weird 🙂

    Please read “Are you the one for me?” http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757 – this book totally changed my approach to internet dating and what I was looking for in a man. A few days after reading it and compiling my compatibility list (not the sort of list you refer to in the first paragraph though!) I got contacted by a man who literally ticked all 50 boxes – he still does! I truly believe that working through the exercises in that book honed my radar and when he crossed my path, I recognised him.

    There is more about what I did here https://modernlifehazards.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/what-are-you-looking-for-in-a-partner/

    Good luck!! MrsH

  4. Mona E Light Says:

    Yes, you are completely right. It is wrong to give too much information. It is important to give a brief description of main hobbies, I think that would help others to find a match based on interests. I tried like about 3 different Online Dating Sites when looking for my Mr Right and only one of them worked for me. It is never late to find a partner, I am sure there is someone out there looking for you. Good luck!.

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