43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Douchebags, Dickheads & Dates April 3, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:28 pm

Ahhh, the ever present three ‘D’s of online dating.  If only we could tweak the ratios of each, I probably wouldn’t dislike it so much.

I gave my number to several gentlemen this week.  One proceeded to text me with ridiculous nonsense.  One actually asked me out.  One opted to pick up the phone and call me.  And then proceeded to grill me for the most uncomfortable hour and 15 minutes of my life.  I swear he was going off a checklist.  The ‘okay, uhm, well’ before moving onto the next invasive question was a dead giveaway.  It was all about him and how I could fit into his messed up and very structured life.  It was just weird.  He asked about my business.  And my friends.  And my parents.  And where they live.  And their health.  And their history.  I’m pretty sure that while he listened to my responses, that he didn’t actually ‘hear’ a word I said.  Then he proceeded to wax poetic about how ‘spiritual and open minded’ he is before moving on to his next uber structured question.  It was excessive and annoying and the fact that I kept texting my friend to please come kill me during the call kind of said it all.  I tried to get off the phone multiple times.  He just kept going.

The next day he informed me that he enjoyed our conversation (which was far and away NOT a conversation, but an interview) and since I ‘fit’ what he was looking for (and didn’t have an issue with his one eyed creepy looking cat) he was ‘willing’ to meet me.  Gee, thanks.  I graciously declined and wished him well.  He then opted to send me the world’s crappiest e-mail letting me know all the reasons that he didn’t want to go out with me anyway.  Very mature.  As his #1 reason wasn’t that I told him I didn’t want to go out with him first, I hope karma comes to kick him in his shitty balding ass very soon.

To round out my week, I was on the receiving end of a string of nasty-grams from TD regarding his kids.  Yes, again.  It’s such a circular argument and one that’s been going on since last summer.  As I’ve told him before, I leave it to his kids to contact me, but if they do, I respond.  Duh, why wouldn’t I.  They’re adults.  He continues to process horse-face’s highly paranoid and uber emotionally manipulative behaviour as something that I should be responsible for.  No.  It was so strange.  As he was bitching me out, he kept also saying that it ‘wasn’t a big deal’ and that he knows I’m great with his kids.  Then he would say my contact with the kids was excessive and strange.  Then he said that when although he conveniently doesn’t remember encouraging me to stay in contact with the kids way back when, he says that he meant it as a temporary thing.  What?  I see his kids maybe once every month or two.  In no uncertain terms I told him to back off and to stop delivering his relationship drama at my feet.  I can’t help that she’s jealous of me.  I’m sure even if I did magically fall off the face of the planet, that she (and in turn, he) would still find something to attack me on.  Amazing how crappy people can be.  Amazing still that I never saw it coming until it was too late from him.  Most amazing of all, is that he still feels it’s okay to unload his bullshit on me and then say that he never meant to make me feel bad.  Uhm, okay.  He’s almost made me sorry that I ever met him.  Almost…..

Anywhoo, I had a date with a nice man last night.  We talked easily and he’s led a pretty fascinating life.  I would love to say that there was a spark, but there wasn’t.  Could there be in time?  I’m not sure.  It’s funny, when the check came for dinner (we had drinks first), he grabbed it and for whatever reason, I offered to pay since he paid at the bar prior.  He easily handed it over and said ‘well this one is more than the one at the bar’, by which time it was too late for me to rescind my offer.  Not sure why I offered.  I only do that when I know I don’t like someone and even then I shittily judge them if they take me up on my offer.  I kinda suck in this regard.

We’re going to see a baseball game on Monday.  I’ll let him pay.  And we’ll see how it goes.

Happy Friday everyone!

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6 Responses to “Douchebags, Dickheads & Dates”

  1. Pam Says:

    Hang in there, honey.

    I’m almost giving up again, almost….

  2. Imogen Says:

    I’ve experienced the ‘telephone interview’ as well. I’m not as polite as you though, I hung up half way through because he wasn’t paying any attention to what I was saying and I can’t be doing with that. Do they not realise this is a two way thing?
    Fingers crossed all goes well at the game.

    • Thanks for the good wishes for Monday! No clue why some people seem completely oblivious as to how they come across to the person on the receiving end. I chalk it up to an apparent case of Aspberger Sydrome 😉

  3. Cheryl Says:

    Well, how did your baseball date go? Are you not blogging about it because you are in Bali right now with him?

  4. […] shitty e mail listing all of the reasons that he didn’t want to meet me anyway?  Yeah, that one.  He decided to e mail me yesterday.  Lucky […]


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