The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

The Art Of Back Peddaling April 24, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:07 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Soooooo, remember the horrible man who grilled me for over an hour on the phone before declaring me worthy of meeting him, who I subsequently opted out of, who THEN sent me a lovely shitty e mail listing all of the reasons that he didn’t want to meet me anyway?  Yeah, that one.  He decided to e mail me yesterday.  Lucky me.

He apologized for how our phone conversation came off, claimed that’s not how he ‘normally’ has a conversation with his friends and then blamed it on online dating for being such a grill-master.  He also was gracious enough to say that he’d still like to meet me.  Uhm, hello?  I feel as if he’s missing a HUGE chunk out of his memory.  Not only was the phone call painful, but the follow up nasty-gram letting me know all the reasons that I wasn’t a suitable match for him seems to have escaped his memory.  I do believe I’ll opt out of responding and have absolutely NO regrets of missing out on the opportunity to meet this jackass.

Now, as for the guy on the other site who gave me the ultimatum of providing my phone number or he wouldn’t communicate with me messaged back.  As I can’t possibly capture the esense of his defensiveness without making him seem like a petulant and controlling idiot……oh wait, he IS these things, I’ll just post it.  Anywhoo, here’s what I wrote him as well as his response.  Please enjoy

Me to him:  Hi Dumbass (not his real name),

Thanks for the note. I would never assume that anyone is a stalker. I’m the one that always thinks the best of everyone.

Although I prefer to have a real conversation as well, as I said, giving out my number (which is my work phone as well) off the bat just isn’t something I’m comfortable doing.

I ‘get’ that you’re not a fan of typing (who is?), but as you managed to type an entire profile, I’m kind of surprised that you basically told me that you won’t communicate with me unless I give you my number.

While I’m far from being someone that likes to message back and forth incessantly, I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a few more messages back and forth before doing so. I’d think if you wanted to get to know me, you’d be okay with waiting until I was comfortable. That’s disappointing that you’re unwilling to do that.

My apologies if that’s not what you meant, but it’s the way it came across.

Him to me:  Well Grey Goose, You certainly labeled me as doing that, then merely left a disclaimer afterwards. lmao… Its okay though as I dont expect much from online anything.
And I did fill out a profile. It is a must to get someone to pay attention. But to keep doing as I am now is just a pain.
Look up (insert dumbass’ crappy website here) and you will see my number is also my business number.
So I have no choice in running a successful business under a number For stalking. lol…
I hope since I have been typing with you now that you my compromise and also text…

Not sure how he thinks that message would make me want to give him my phone number, but that’s what he opted to go with.  Please note, that he STILL didn’t just give me his number.  He made me look up his craptastic website.  I think this one is a bit too argumentative, negative and difficult for me!  Everything else aside, his grammar sucks!


6 Responses to “The Art Of Back Peddaling”

  1. DSA1969 Says:

    Hmm, I don’t think his response was bad. I think he was giving you the website to show you that his phone number is for his business and personal calls. I think the whole online stuff is tough. At least he realized how he behaved and apologized. Most guys would not do that! I don’t know, I wouldn’t be too harsh. I did the same thing with the online thing. I would find every little wrong with a guy, but then one day I decided to go out with guys. He wasn’t my ideal, we went to the same university and I thought, “What the hell?” Turns out he was pretty handsome, sweet and funny. I married him a year and a half later. I may be in the minority here, but I would give him a try.

    • Thanks for your view-point (and congrats on finding your ‘one’ online). I usually err on the side of being too forgiving with guys online but there’s just something about this one that rubs me the wrong way. I fear we have completely different communication styles and even if he didn’t mean to sound defensive and crappy (‘I don’t expect much online’), knowing me I will, and did, take it the wrong way. Hahaha on your followup comment! 🙂

  2. 1smiles Says:

    I went on a bazillion meet & greets. Meaning I gave them an opportunity to give me their “A” game in person. And I gave that same “A” game to them. Grading systems aside, I think you could give it a shot.

    I have met a great guy and we are talking ‘future’. He’s not perfect and neither am I. but our crazy crap seems to compliment each other. I think that’s the best I dare hope for.
    I’d say don’t give him your number, but create a really cool date.. something out of your comfort zone.. and invite him to meet you there. I’m thinkin’ there’s some really hot sparks here… you’ll either end up in jail or in love. It’ll be an adventure either way and you’ll have a lot to report back here. 🙂

    • Haha Smiles. I’ve been at this a looooong time! Remember when I went through my ‘go out with everyone and give them a chance’ phase? That was A LOT of wasted time. I’m glad you’ve found a great guy. I’m just not sure that butting heads right off the bat is a good sign for me but you’re right, it may turn out to be awesome. Or I could end up needing bail money….. 😉

  3. Cheryl Says:

    I may be in the minority here – well, I am – but I’d still give him a pass. When people show you who they are, believe them. Sticking to my intuition usually works for me. On the other hand, your date would be good reading. So, there’s that….

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