43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Peggy or Joan is the new Ginger or Maryann……… June 1, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:40 pm
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For the record, I think I’m a combination of both Peggy AND Joan.  A mixture of all their best traits and attributes, of course. 😉

Anywhoo, I watched the finale of Mad Men several weeks ago when it aired and I LOVED IT!  And I mean LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it!

I know a Don Draper. The looks, the charm, the inner turmoil. He used to get upset with me when he would say everyone told him he looked like Colin Ferrell and I said he was more Don than Colin. I always told him he reminded me of Don Draper.  Although he physically resembles Collin Farrell more than he does Don Draper, he is, in every single aspect, Don Draper. Not John Hamm, the actor who plays him, but the character himself. He never understood that.

He is handsome and fit and perpetually searching. He has spent his life searching for happiness in other people. Being disappointed by other people. Looking everywhere but within himself to ‘fix’ things. He doesn’t think he’s good enough. He gets in his own way regarding being happy. I’m not sure he even knows how. He has flashes of contentment and peace, but I think they are few and very far between. He’s always seemingly searching for something, but instead of looking within, he looks elsewhere.

He’s got a good heart. I know he does. He doesn’t know that though. He thinks he’s bad. And unworthy. Ever since I 1st met him I’ve likened him to Don Draper. Having just watched the series finale of the show, I am convinced more than ever that I was right. He IS Don Draper.

He’ll never be happy until he finds happiness within himself. Until he stops creating drama and allows things to just ‘be’. He’s a good man, but an inherently sad one. He creates drama so that he can then turn around and feel that he is helping someone. I think it makes him feel important. Or needed. I wish he’d realize that he is important and needed just for being him. He needs to realize all that is good about himself and his life. He has so much to be thankful for.

No one can teach him this though. He always thought I was crazy when I would bring it up. He needs to figure it out for himself. The man that I always knew was an amazing person. The man that I hope someday finds his own inner peace and realizes that he is good enough.

The series finale ended with a shot of Don Draper sitting in nature (something he would never ever do), in lotus pose (another thing he would never do) and smiling. He gave away all he had. He alienated everyone who ever loved him. He gave away all of his worldly possession. It was just he, nature, yoga, morning salutations and he smiled. A genuine smile from within.  It was a pretty powerful moment.

I hope beyond hope that the Don Draper I knew someday finds this same inner peace and happiness. Although I am one of the people that once loved him and was pushed away, he deserves it. He would never admit that I was his ‘Cricket’, but he will always be Don Draper to me.

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