I went out with a very nice man a couple of weeks ago. We met for what turned out to be dinner. I thought it was just going to be drinks, but whatever, a girl’s gotta eat, right? He got there before me and texted to find out what I’d like to drink. Very nice, right? When I arrived he was already sitting and so was my drink. Neither got up to greet me. Hmmmm….. The cocktail was forgiven, but I think it’s just nice manners to stand and greet your guest. Not a deal breaker as we just obviously were brought up differently, but it was in the file.
I sat down after a bit of an awkward delay (what? I have never had someone NOT stand up to greet me before). We talked easily. He about his past relationships, his trust issues, his nomadic lifestyle and me about, well, not much. I wanted to like him more than I did. I just wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t think we had much in common. Of course, this set my mind into overdrive wondering if it were one of those elusive situations where attraction grows the more you get to know someone.
We enjoyed a pleasant dinner and after about an hour and a half, we left. He paid, so that was very nice. He walked me to my car (again, very nice) and we parted ways. He texted me later that night to say he had a good time and to ask if I would like to go out again. I took a minute (or 300) to respond in that I wasn’t sure if it were worth it, but opted to give it a go.
I had a hugely hectic week, so it took almost 2 weeks in order to be able to schedule date #2. That, in and of itself was a red flag for me because if I like a guy, I’ll do whatever it takes to make time to see them. I didn’t feel the need, or desire, to do so with him. 😦
Our texts and phone conversations were always stilted and a bit awkward. The ‘flow’ never seemed to improve. He made a few awkward attempts to flirt with me via text (really?) and got a bit pouty when I didn’t pick up on it (truth be told, I DID pick up on it, just didn’t want to go there). Anyway, about a week ago, he asked me if I’d like to go out on a date with him. Strange considering he’d already asked, but I thought he was just being silly. We decided on Thursday evening (tomorrow night). A few days after that text conversation he asked me if I’d like to go out again. Uhm…………. I sort of let it go and our awkward texts continued. Until last night. When he asked me if I’d like to go out. WTH? That would make 3 times that he’s asked me out for a 2nd date and 3 times that I accepted. I responded last night with a ‘I thought we had plans for Thursday?’ To which he didn’t respond.
Another red flag is that I didn’t care that he didn’t respond when normally I would be over thinking the shit out of something like that. Anyway, I woke up this morning and decided that it wasn’t fair to him to keep this going in order for me to ‘see’ if I could ever see myself with him. I sent a very nice text letting him know that although I thought he was a terrific guy, that I just wasn’t sure that we were a good match, but that I really enjoyed meeting him.
He sent back a lovely message wishing me well, letting me know how much he enjoyed meeting me and sort of signing off pleasantly. Oh wait, that didn’t happen at all. He just never responded.
I can’t make myself like someone just because they like me, right?