43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Gardens, Bees & Graduations November 17, 2016

Filed under: bad dates,internet dating,online dating,single,TD — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:25 am
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I know it’s been a while when I can’t remember my password.  Or the name of my blog.  Or the fact that I’ve been at this for eons.  Early onset senility sucks.  I don’t recommend it.  Here’s a little catch up on what’s been going on in my world the past couple of months.  Try to contain your excitement…….

1) Ran into TD.  Yey me.  I went to his daughter’s presentation for a course she was taking.  It was mid day & mid week.  I hoped I’d get lucky in my timing as I was just going to pop by for a couple of minutes at the very beginning and then run for the hills.   As I stood speaking with his daughter I suddenly felt the atmospheric pressure plummet and see, out of the corner of my eye, that although there was an entire room to stand in, he parks himself right beside me.  Super.  Being the mature & evolved individual that I am, I act like I don’t see him and keep talking.  Taking the hint, he wanders off.  Oh wait, that’s not what happened at all.  He continued to stand there for a good 5 minutes never saying a word.  I finally turn to him and he says ‘oh, I had no idea it was you’.  *sigh*  Really?  Because there are so many 5’10” blondes that would  be speaking to your daughter at her graduation?  I suck it up and say hello.  And he proceeds to stand there not saying a word.  Yeah, we’re done here…..Thank goodness that wasn’t awkward at all *insert sarcasm here*

2) There’s a new dating app!  Well, it’s new to me at least.  It’s called Bumble and has a pretty cool premise.  You swipe left and right on profiles ala Tinder (without the implied sluttiness).  A right swipe means you likee.  A left swipe, well, not so much.  If the man has swiped right on you as well, then you get notified.  Now here’s the great part: it’s up to the woman to make the 1st move.  Guys cannot contact you 1st!  That’s right people, none of the lovely options from yester-year (the old men, young kids, santa look alikes an other unsavories) cannot contact me!  Better yet, the majority of the guys seem normal.  Ish.

In a highly unscientific mathematical algorithm ,  I would say I match with 50% of those I swipe right on.  Of that 50%, a good 85% of the ones that I choose to contact write back!  Of course there are still plenty of socially awkward and highly inappropriate men on there (that’s half the *ahem* fun of online dating, right?), but for the most part there are some normal ones too!  Oh, how my standards have plummeted.

Here’s a quick rundown of some gents that I owe you all (the 2 of you that have stuck with me through the years) an update on:

  1. Repo Man
  2. 007
  3. Tilted Kilt
  4. Mr. Polo (as in horse and mallet, not shirt)
  5. Car Salesman
  6. Assorted Men I’ve Seen On Every Other Site Who Are Still Using The Same Pic From 5 Years Ago

Well, that’s all I have time for right now!  I promise (well, as much as I hold to any promise regarding this blog) to try and do better.  I owe it to the 2 of you that actually still care. 😉 And I know you want to know if I’ve actually been on any dates with these gents.  Here’s a hint: I have!  Stay tuned……… xoxoxo

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6 Responses to “Gardens, Bees & Graduations”

  1. Cheryl P Says:

    OK, so I’m one of your two readers. So glad you updated your blog. Can hardly contain my excitement as I wait for at least six upcoming dating sagas. I’m interested in #3. I love a man in a kilt – yes, seriously.

  2. Colleen Says:

    Just this weekend, I was telling a friend about your blog. She has had her own Webster, believe it or not.


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