As it was rudely pointed out to me in a not so pleasant comment on my previous post, I’ve been writing this blog for several, okay many, years. I have chosen to not update the name of my blog and that’s why I sit here, on a Friday night, typing a defensive post at the ripe old age of 49 under a blog entitled ’43 and Single’ ……
As I write this blog anonymously (or I hope I do), none of you really knows me. You do know what I choose to share with you. You also probably know (if you’ve been paying attention), that I usually add a dash of snark to my posts. Is that how I am in real life or do I do it as ‘entertainment factor’? I guess you wouldn’t know, would you?
To be told, however, that I need to “lower my expectations” and that since I’m no terrific package (paraphrased from the same shitty comment I got) that I am not going to get a “Brad Pitt” makes me wonder. Do I so misrepresent myself on here to make it seem as though I am expecting the moon and the stars? I assure you, I’m not.
I do find it sad that a stranger has told me that I need to lower my standards. Actually I find it sad and funny. I’m not a ‘list maker’. I don’t have an ‘agenda’. I don’t have exceedingly high visions of who my ‘one’ will be. As a matter of fact, I don’t have a vision at all. Not superficially, that is. My taste in men spans an enormous range. Tall, short (well, not TOO short), fat, skinny (oh wait, skinny is out), hair color, eye color, car they drive, etc…… None of that means a damn thing to me.
What DOES matter is kindness. Honesty. Shared interests. Ability to have an intelligent conversation. Ability to laugh together. An ability to see a future together. There’s no way that I would ‘lower’ my desires on these and I don’t think I should have to. I don’t quite get the whole ‘lower your standards’ comment. Sure, so I can have a mediocre future with someone who is probably as ‘meh’ about me as I am about them? I would never do that to someone.
I do find it odd that this comment came after a recap of date #2 with 007. Prior to that, I wrote about Repo Man (who I never met), Tilted Kilt (who was a bit of a moron and ended up choosing to unmatch me when I had to postpone our meeting and also had to explain why I didn’t want to go to an establishment where the women wear the tiniest uniforms ever). There were the two men who were so NOT spectacular that we never even discussed meeting. Before these posts I hadn’t written for a while. A long while. I hadn’t been dating. No dating = no dating blog posts. Who should I be living happily ever after with?
Just to put it out into the universe, and because apparently this comment completely insulted me, let me set the record straight. I am 49 years old. I have made good dating decisions in the past. I have made bad dating decisions in the past. I’ve even made HORRIBLE dating decisions in the past. I’ve also put up with a lot. I’ve learned from each of my past experiences and am constantly evolving (or at least trying to). Since this same comment seemed to jab at my physical appearance (thanks so much) as well as the supposed appearance that they believe I am expecting from my ‘one’ and the fact that I’m no great prize, let me set the record straight. I am. I am attractive, successful, have terrific friends, am kind, philanthropic and will always go out of my way to help someone. I may not seem like it on here, but I’ve kinda got my shit together and have a lot to offer. What I ‘expect’ in return is far less that what I bring to the table.
There is a entire contingent of ‘ones’ that I don’t write about on here. These are the men that I’ve met, either via online or in person, that for whatever reason did not ‘match’ with that I am still friends with. The ones that call and message and seek advice and insight from me because I’m ‘so cool’. Ha. These guys are my favorite. And I don’t write about them because they are still in my life.
In case any of you are scratching your head and wondering what on earth I’m blathering on about, I have copied the comment below. I get to do that. I realize that I have opened myself up to comments and opinions such as these by choosing to share aspects of my dating life, so my apologies if I am taking the comment wrong or getting worked up over nothing. As I told the reader, everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinions and my bad if I’ve given the impression that I am anything like what this person seems to think I am, but there is a way to communicate with people. Writing ‘not to be mean’ followed by a completely mean post, does not absolve you of being mean.
Not to be mean, but I’ve been reading your blog for years and it’s titled “43 and Single” but you’re almost 50 at this point and still no cigar. Maybe it’s time to stop being so picky and lower your expectations a bit. At your age, and admittedly being slightly chubby, even if still cute, youre not gonna score a Brad Pitt. I feel like you are more selective than what you yourself are offering, and have kind of always been, and that’s why you’ve gotten nowhere.